Makes Transformers 2 look like an intelligent, thoughtful masterpiece


Image Courtesy of IMPawards.com

Director: Stephen Sommers
Notable Cast: Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Rachel Nichols, Christopher Eccleston, Ray Park, Marlon Wayans

If one needed a sign that the summer blockbuster season was truly over, Stephen Sommers has provided one with one of the worst films of the year in G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra. To say that this film is bad is not to impugn it but perhaps damn it with false praise. It’s not like it has a Shakespearean premise, so the bar isn’t very high to begin with.

G.I Joe is not an individual but an organization of super soldiers who, through training and various gadgets that would make James Bond jealous, save the world from the evil organization Cobra. They’re led by a Scottish arms dealer (Christopher Eccleston), who has developed a new weapon for NATO. When he tries to steal it back, and fails, the only two survivors are Americans Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans). Joining up temporarily with the G.I Joe organization, in part due to their information on the woman (Sienna Miller) leading the attack, they are on the defensive this time around when Cobra successfully steals the weapon by attacking G.I Joe headquarters. From here on it’s a race against a doomsday clock as G.I Joe has to prevent Cobra from unleashed the weapons on an unsuspecting world.

And whereas Eli Roth and others have been accused of making “torture porn,” one can say that Stephen Sommers is part of the craft that makes “action porn.” This s a big, loud action film that is over-long and comprised of the usual sorts of high-profile destruction one expects from the genre except with one major difference: it’s impossible to care about any of it because to call the cast one dimensional is an insult to those inhabiting only one dimension. And it’s not exactly a good script, even for an action film. There is a certain amount of forgiving one can do for an action flick but only a diehard fanboy of the toy and cartoon, with no taste in cinema, could call this a good film much less a great one. The film is a collection of scripting clichés and archetypical characters straight out of the “Dummy’s Guide to Writing a Bad Action Movie.”

Obviously this isn’t Shakespeare, or anything of the sort, but there’s no character development or enhancement throughout the film and it’s a major problem. The script leaves something to be desired, but the entire cast doesn’t seem to care either. This is obviously a “paycheck” film for everyone involved and even an actor like Dennis Quaid, who usually is solid even in bad films, is stiff and wooden. There are moments when even some slight character development could out and give the film some depth, but right at the time when they’d be appropriate the film decides to just forgo this and make something blow up. It leaves a character like the Baroness (Miller), who could be genuinely interesting, as just another evil woman who looks terrific in a tight leather bodysuit.

It leaves the proceedings hollow and empty; with characters we care about there’s a reason to get involved and have big explosions making some sort of impact. Without this all one has left are loud noises signifying nothing, which is exactly what G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra ends up becoming. It’s nothing but big explosions and action sequences without any meaning or substance. And that’s not to say that the action is bad.

One has to give Sommers credit; this is a well constructed film. The action sequences are incredibly well filmed and Sommers certainly has placed a premium on making everything look terrific. The action is perhaps some of the best of the summer, and easily would be if we could care about why any of it is happening. G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra is proof that it is not just Michael Bay who can blow through $200 million and not have much to show for it.

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