Chopsocky action plagued by bad editing, bad story and bad blood

Director: James McTeigue
Notable Cast: Rain, Naomie Harris, Rick Yune, Ben Miles

Money shots in movies geared for guys can come any number of ways. Why there’s bullet to the head, ripped Adam’s apple, and even strangulation by hanging out of a helicopter. Usually there’s some build up to the climax of the action, but Ninja Assassin ditches the rules and cuts to the chase (literally) within the first five minutes. So much slicing and dicing occurs within its ninety-minute running time that it becomes dull and repetitive. Now I like a good arterial spray as much as the next guy, but director James McTiegue (V for Vendetta) makes the miscalculation of using computer-rendered blood. It’s so blatant that any excitement from seeing a ninja paint the screen red diminishes quickly. What, were special effects make-up artists Howard Berger and Tom Savini not available?

The film is also lacking a decent story. A B-movie like this you don’t expect a strong narrative with memorable lines or characters. We’re lucky to get any dialogue at all from the main star; Mr. Ninja Assassin is a man of few words. Maybe it’s because the assassin is played by Rain, the Justin Timberlake of Korea. After making his U.S. debut in Speed Racer, Rain returns for another Wachowski Bros. (The Matrix trilogy) production. The screenplay woes stem from first-timer Matthew Sand, whose script was not well received. So the Wachowskis had friend J. Michael Straczynski (TV’s Babylon 5 and Changeling) do a complete rewrite during pre-production. Straczynski finished the script in 53 hours.

Instead of a rewrite, this movie should have had its entrails gutted by a ninja-throwing star. The writers make the mistake of trying to achieve a substantial story out of something that needs only one mitigating factor: revenge. There’s a subplot involving Europol (Interpol by another name) agent Mika (Naomie Harris) investigating a series of murders she believes were committed by ninjas. Making the connection of the ninja society makes her a target. Lucky for her there’s somebody who has a hatred for ninjas.

Raizo (Rain) is in the killing ninjas business, after turning rogue on his sensei, Lord Ozunu (Sho Kosugi), and his clan. Through flashbacks we see Raizo’s progression under the tutelage of Ozunu, suffering brutal strikes to the arches of his feet as he tries to avoid detection. During his time with the Clan Razio suffers a broken heart when his “secret love” Kiriko (Kyle Goldstein) is slaughtered after she attempts to run away from the compound. Raizo flees the Clan after his first assignment and vows revenge. As he savagely cuts down the Clan with a devil may care attitude, Raizo fights to save Mika’s life.

Ninja Assassin offers plenty of red spills to please any gorehound, and if you can overlook the CG spurts you will witness some incredible violence and action. Unfortunately, the film has the same shoddy hand-held filming style that plagued Quantum of Solace, The Bourne Supremacy and Ultimatum. It’s as if someone with ADD was given free reign with the camera.

Now I’m not an expert on ninjas but I would think that one of the keys is their ability to avoid detection. One elaborate action scene sees a battle between Raizo and the Clan extend all the way to the city streets of Berlin with cars whizzing by. Cool as it looks – if you can keep track of all the cuts and edits in the action – it doesn’t fit with the notion of ninjas being mystique and illusive.

Had James McTiegue only included the plot with Raizo’s personal vendetta against the Clan, from his time as an orphan to present day, and ditched the Europol agents, it would have tighter pacing. But it would also struggle to be more than an hour long. All the fun of seeing shurikens flying and ninjas fighting gets ruined by bad dialogue and poorly written scenes between Naomie Harris and her Europol supervisor, played by Ben Miles. The Korean pop singer actually shows up the professional actors mainly because he lets his actions speak for him.

Ninja Assassin’s implausibility astounds, but it’s a B-movie after all. The splaterfest with ballet-like choreography brims with an endless supply of enemy beheadings and dismemberment. The murders become tedious as the movie progresses, but it’s McTiegue’s bread and he butters it well. So if you’re in the mood for action supported by a dull plot or stupid characters, Ninja Assassin might make for a bloody good time.

Last 5 posts by Travis Leamons

• Theatrical Teaser for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Hits the Web - March 11th, 2010
• Vengeance Trilogy Blu-ray Details - All Special Features Listed - March 10th, 2010
• Disc News: War of the Worlds Invading Blu-ray - March 10th, 2010
• Final Poster for The Losers - March 9th, 2010
• Liam Hemsworth Cast in Arabian Nights - March 9th, 2010