By the time I first saw Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, it was 8:16 a.m. and I had been watching bad movies from sunset to sunrise. It’s no wonder, then, that I’m starting to get a little tired.

After all, it could only be exhaustion to blame that I found a movie called Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus boring, right? It couldn’t possibly be because a movie with such an awesome name could actually be a tedious exercise in mediocrity.

Not Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus!

Whatever the reason, I found myself having to fight to stay awake during the movie, a straight-to-DVD film about, well, a big shark fighting a big octopus.

Written and directed by Jack Perez, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus does the impossible and manages to take a movie that by all rights should be the greatest thing since Sliced Bread: The Motion Picture and make it almost unwatchable.

For one thing, there is a definite lack of actual octopus on shark violence. Most of the movie instead consists of montages of people standing around on submarines looking grave with the monotony occasionally broken up by even more montages of scientists staring sternly at multi-colored test tubes.

When two prehistoric sea monsters are accidentally freed from their icy prison, it’s up to a multi-ethnic trio of scientists to save the world from being eaten to death.

If you’ve seen the trailer, you have seen all of the movie you could possibly need to see — including an admittedly incredible scene in which a giant shark jumps out of the water and bites a flying plane in half or an equally amazing scene in which a giant shark jumps out of the water and bites the Golden Gate Bridge in half.

In fact, the movie’s sole awesomeness resides in scenes in which a giant shark jumps out of the water and bites things in half.

If Jack Perez had just concentrated on making an hour and a half-long movie about giant sharks jumping out of the water and biting things in half, it could have been the greatest movie known to mankind.

Instead, audiences are forced to sit through the prattling on of unlikeable characters devising plans on how to rid the world of its only giant shark and giant octopus.

Speaking of giant octopuses, how lame was the giant octopus?

Why couldn’t Mega Shark be given something cooler to fight like Godzilla or Freddy Kruger or Predator?

I found myself wishing a giant chef would appear to scoop the giant octopus out of the water, deep fry it and serve it as an appetizer at a giant Olive Garden.

If I learned anything from this movie, it’s that watching eleven straight hours of bad movies is a bad idea and that giant octopuses are lame. That and there should be more movies featuring giant sharks jumping out of the water and biting things and half. Also, that Lorenzo Lamas plays a great racist Steven Segal. And that Deborah Gibson and Vic Chao make a wonderful giant sea creature-killing couple.

But seriously, that’s all I learned. I’m ready to go to sleep.

Robert Saucedo can’t wait for Giant Sharktopus vs. Mega-Mansquito. Follow him on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.

http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/mega-shark-300×168.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/mega_shark_giant_octopus-120×120.jpg

Teenage girls will most definitely love seeing Taylor Lautner without his shirt and there’s plenty of screen time for stars Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Dakota Fanning. Also making her presence known is Bryce Dallas Howard who assumes the role of vampire Victoria. (Victoria was played by Rachelle Lefevre in both Twilight and its sequel New Moon). Superman may be able to leap tall buildings with a single bound, but Victoria can leap over giant chasms! OH MY!

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse will arrive in theaters on June 30.

The Pulse: Taking up prime real estate in having its release be around the fourth of July, Eclipse will no doubt clean up at the box office. But will it have the legs to survive as a summer blockbuster? In the weeks following its release, it’s major competition will be Christopher Nolan’s much-anticipated Inception and Salt starring Angelina Jolie. While I have found the first two installments to be predictably average, Eclipse will surely bring the women out in droves.

Source: Yahoo! Movies
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Kristen-Stewart-Robert-Pattinson-in-TWILIGHT-ECLIPSE-Movie-HQ-Photo-500×332.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/twilight-eclipse-120×120.jpg

Frequently these heroes had similar evolutions, a pattern that could also be found in many of the roles they played on the silver screen. There was their initial discovery, which often times had something to do with awesome physical prowess, whether they were a renowned body builder or one of the most revered martial artists in the world. They next had a breakthrough hit, which gained them further notoriety. Their onscreen battles would get larger and larger, until superstardom would come with that one enormous epic. Eventually popularity waned, and the stars would take more chances with their outings, which often times would actually hurt their stardom. Finally, they’re faced with some sort of career change, and then eventually, there is some modicum of a comeback and a second chance at glory.

It’s amazing how this kind of happens over and over again, and 2010 seems to be the year where a lot of stars are banking on making a lot of their returns. While Stallone has already had two successful revivals to the big-screen with recent trips back into his Rambo and Rocky franchises, Dolph Lungdren and a host of other action stars are set to make comebacks or cameos in The Expendables later this year. Even Steven Seagal, who just had his TV Show renewed, is returning to theaters for the first time since Half Past Dead in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete. Lately though, what I’m anxious to see the next step from Jean-Claude Van Damme, who seems to be staying away from these comeback parties somewhat to do his own thing.

Here’s the thing, “The Muscles from Brussels” hasn’t been big in the U.S. for a long time. His last domestic film that had a theatrical release was Universal Soldier: The Return and since then the guy has been almost exclusively doing Direct to Video movies. What I love though, is that while I’ve considered what he’s been doing languishing in the DTV market, it’s possible that Van Damme has kind of been thriving. Yes, a lot the movies are still pretty bad, or worse, examples like Second in Command aren’t just bad, they’re bland. There’s nothing more aggravating than an action movie that’s boring.

On the other hand, as I’ve checked out more and more of these pictures, I’ve realized that Van Damme has kind of been trying to craft a new persona for himself. Unlike Seagal, who has been trying to turn in the same type of performances he always has, Van Damme doesn’t seem anything like “the cocky jerk that we still managed to like” that he always played in movies like Bloodsport and Knock-Off. Quite often in his DTV offerings like In Hell and The Shepherd: Border Patrol he’s a broken man. Some catastrophe has befallen him and he’s just trying to do what he can to survive. It’s actually really interesting to watch the man who used to be known for kicks to the face, gratuitous backside nudity, and ridiculous splits, trying his hand at acting.

What’s even weirder is, I don’t think he’s half bad. Culminating in 2008’s J.C.V.D., Van Damme seems to be trying to right the ship somewhat. He received mostly good notices for his performance in the movie, and since has been trying to keep the momentum up, especially with this year’s Universal Soldier: Regeneration, which yes was a DTV release, but still might be the best action movie I’ve seen all year. Heck, the last I’d heard this month he’s even going to try his hand at an actual kickboxing match. I hope he doesn’t have to fight Tong Po.

So for the next few weeks, I’m going to be looking at Belgian’s biggest action import. From his rise as action icon and lover of spunky reporters to the more serious current incarnation, Van Damme has seemed to see it all, and I think is poised for a big screen comeback. I’m going to start off with the movie that first introduced me to JCVD, which to some degree is still the best example of early Van Damme pictures were all about; showing off his athletic ability, overcoming the odds, fighting a giant man, and yes, going to bed with an inquisitive female reporter. The movie, of course, is Bloodsport.

Bloodsport Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Bolo Yeung. Directed by Newt Arnold

I wonder if the “Based on a True Story” tagline has ever really helped a movie become more of a box office success or if people really tend to pay it no mind, much like I do. As long as a movie brings the goods in the departments it’s supposed to, I could really care less whether it really happened or not. With that said though, in my heart of hearts, I wish deep down that somehow the events in Bloodsport, the tale of real-life underground fighter Frank Dux (as in “Put up your dukes!”), were 100% accurate.

Now, while I know this isn’t the case at all, a guy can dream. Dux’s actual story is one surrounded by a lot of controversy. He states that he started training in the martial arts when he was 13 and that he eventually fought in the Kumite, an underground, illegal fighting tournament where all the greatest martial artists in the world compete to be champion. According to him, he fought hundreds of battles and went undefeated, though many publications have tried to dispute his claims. What is cool, is that Dux was so infamous, that when shooting this movie in Hong Kong, in which he was the fight choreographer, the man actually had to use a fake name for safety reasons.

For the sake of this movie, I hope that a lot of Dux’s claims are true. While the movie suffers from having outdated choreography and plenty of 80’s cheese to go around, Bloodsport remains a really good time, a kick ass martial arts story, and shows us exactly why Van Damme became such a breakout star. Whether fabrication or embellishment of Dux’s actual exploits, what really makes this movie work are the tried and true elements of martial arts films of the past and the charisma of its soon to be major action star.

If there was really one essential role from the early stage of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s career, it would probably be this one. Van Damme seems to straddle the line between his two most prominent screen personas; the arrogant superman who knows a lot about karate and the naïve everyman who knows a lot about karate. His screen charisma is pretty evident here, and he’s really likeable throughout, but he’s not above being the show-off, especially during a ridiculous chase scene through the streets of Hong Kong.

Helping Van Damme immensely is the structure of the movie, which meshes two martial arts tropes together with the combination of the training storyline and the tournament storyline. It’s hard not to like someone when we see how he came from nothing to obtaining so much skill. A flashback montage shows how he comes to be trained by revered Karate master Tanaka, played by the awesome Roy Chiao, who played Lao Che in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. With a short amount of screen time, longtime Hong Kong movie veteran Chiao makes his stamp on the movie, first using Dux as a training buddy for his son, but then eventually turning to Dux to carry on his legacy when his own son is killed in the deadly underground Tournament, The Kumite.

Again, with not a lot of screen time, we’re given a pretty entertaining training sequence for the movie, which I think can go right up there with classic montages from The Karate Kid, Kill Bill, Vol. 2 and The 36th Chamber of Shaolin. It’s certainly a step up from anything in Van Damme’s own Kickboxer and has a degree of authenticity to it that I think is lacking in many American martial arts films. Again, this early part of the movie has you rooting for Dux, especially knowing that his path to this tournament isn’t one of glory, but of honor for his family and a good dose of revenge for his fallen adopted brother.

It’s with character firmly established that we finally get a fun-filled adventure with outrageous characters. It’s unfortunate that even though it’s a pretty popular story formula, too often the tournament movie is pretty awful. Video game entries, which should be an easy fit to this formula, are usually stunningly awful (Mortal Kombat DOA: Dead or Alive), and examples such as Van Damme’s own Lionheart are pretty painful to watch. There are really only a handful of these movies that actually work and even in famous examples such as Enter the Dragon the tournament itself becomes sort of this abstract thing instead building suspense around the event itself.

I know this seems to be nitpicking, but when you’ve seen enough of these movies, you tend to be able to pick out good and bad examples, and Bloodsport is a good one. For an American martial arts film, the fight scenes themselves are adequate and Van Damme gets to show off his stuff in a rousing way. The movie is able to establish fun, scenery chewing villains and heroes throughout, and I like how the movie is able to get a wide range of fighting styles in, which harkens back to classic fight flicks such as Master of the Flying Guillotine.

There’s a certain legitimacy that comes from setting this movie in Hong Kong as well. Unlike Kickboxer, which seems to use Bangkok as a generic Asian setting, Bloodsport is all over the streets of Hong Kong, from the beautiful tourist spots to the dangerous back alleys. Hong Kong is the true home of the martial arts flick, as its film industry kept the genre alive for most of the 20th Century, so putting this film here, and even using many of the genre’s stars and character actors, does a great service for the movie and puts us in the right frame of mind in a way that many western Kung fu flicks set in L.A. or New York could never accomplish.

The last elements needed are a boss battle with the awesome Bolo Yeung and a spunky reporter for Dux to sleep with, and you’ve got yourself a classic Jean-Claude Van Damme action vehicle. Bolo is maybe the most imposing martial arts villain in history with his gigantic frame, and the way the movie establishes him as a killing machine really sets the stage for the movie’s final conflict. The man is terrifying and the movie doesn’t have to do much to make us think he’s invincible, so there’s real drama when Dux matches up with him for the finale.

Again, there’s a very fine line here between camp and general badassery, and with its various flashbacks, over the top villainy, and superhuman heroics this could have very easily fallen toward the former, but director Newt Arnold seems to know his audience, and Bloodsport ends up coming out on top. Sure, there’s cheese to spare and Bloodsport isn’t afraid to throw in moments of preposterousness, but never does this movie hit a note that isn’t fun. The movie made Van Damme a star and gave Bolo Yeung immortality, and for that, it deserves its longevity with action fans.

http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/bloodsport-120×120.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Bloodsport-500×250-500×287.jpg

Phantom of Liberty II is a free-flowing documentary that explores time and its impact on people — more or less. A Czech Republic/German production,Phantom of Liberty II is kind of like an episode of This American Life if radio host Ira Glass had attention deficient disorder. While not a direct sequel to Serge Silberman’s 1974 film The Phantom of Liberty, both movies share a similar structure.

Director Karel Zalud’s film, shot beautifully on 35mm, meanders from subject to subject looking for stories that illustrate the behaviors and outlooks that are elicited by the passing of time. A mostly unseen narrator keeps the camera moving, quickly leaving subjects even if they are not completely done telling their mostly mundane anecdotes.

With a style evoking Richard Linklater’s Slackers, Phantom of Liberty II visits with a wide selection of mostly unconnected and seemingly randomly found citizens — including a funeral director, a train operator, a group of elderly actors and a businessman.

Keeping with the documentary’s theme, Phantom of Liberty II is edited in a non-linear, almost circular fashion. The documentary subjects’ selection radiates out from the movie’s beginning, eventually forming a full circle much like a clock’s face — ending where the movie began with its first subject.

While I would love to recommend Phantom of Liberty II to everybody, I cannot. While the film, with its intricate scale and epic scope, was interesting to watch — it is very much for a niche audience. Specifically, those interested in experimental film.

It’s a complex movie worth discussion, but in a festival as large and varied as South by Southwest, Phantom of Liberty II is doomed by the very thing the film documents — the limitations of a person’s available time.

Category: SX Global
Director: Karel Zalud
Showtimes: Sunday, March 14 at 4 PM at The Hideout and Tuesday, March 16 at 2 PM at The Hideout

Inside Pulse — Movies will be on the ground at SXSW! For live coverage from the event, follow Robert Saucedo and Travis Leamons on Twitter at @robsaucedo2500 and @skipkassidy.

The South by Southwest film festival will be held in Austin from March 12 through the 20th. For more information about attending the festival and the films being shown, visit www.sxsw.com/film.
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/SXSW-film_2010-120×120.jpg

According to the LA Times, the rumors about Christopher Nolan and David Goyer’s involvement in the upcoming Superman reboot are all true. No director is attached yet, but Nolan will be producing and Goyer will be writing the story. They aim to take what made their Batman movies so popular–namely that, like Batman, Superman will be considered the “only superhero” within his movie universe–but other than that no new details on the story have been given other than that Goyer’s story idea is something that Nolan has “never seen before that makes it incredibly exciting.”

Nolan also spoke a little about the third Batman film. Right now they’ve agreed on a general story and his “brother [Jonathan Nolan] is writing a script for me and we’ll wait to see how it turns out…he’s struggling to put it together into the epic story that you want it to be.” Other than that, Nolan is pretty hush-hush on details, other than denying that Mr. Freeze will be the villain and that the story will not be an adaptation of Frank Miller’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. The third Batman movie will be the end of Nolan’s involvement with the character as it will finish the story Nolan wants to tell: “Unlike the comics, these things don’t go on forever in film, and viewing it as a story with an end is useful… And it hearkens back to that priority of trying to find the reality in these fantastic stories. That’s what we do.”

The Pulse: I’ve mentioned before how excited I am about Nolan and Goyer working on revitalizing the Superman franchise, so the confirmation of the rumor just ramped my excitement meter up to eleven. As for Batman, while I would be happy if the current team stayed with the character forever, I can appreciate what they’re doing by having a definite end in sight. I think they’re understanding of the differences between the comic and movie genres is one of the keys to their success, and I’d rather have another excellent Batman film than a slew of mediocre ones.

But, as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you think? Are you disappointed that Nolan and the gang aren’t going to stick with Batman for more than just one more film? Is Superman too different a character for them to work their magic on?

Credit: Newsarama
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/christopher-nolan-e1268246867591-120×114.jpg

Oldboy.

The Blu-ray release is a three-disc set, while the DVD release will be eight discs. Here is a complete listing of the extras:

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance:

● Audio commentary with director Park Chan-Wook and actor/filmmaker Ryoo Seung-wan
● The Process of Mr. Vengeance
● My Boksu Story
● Crew interviews
● Jonathan Ross on Park Chan-wook
● Soundtrack and photos
● Storyboards
● Original behind-the-scenes feature
● Trailer

Oldboy:

● Audio commentaries:
o Director Park Chan-wook
o Park Chan-wook and cinematographer Chung Chung-hoon
o Park Chan-wook and cast
● Five behind-the-scenes featurettes:
o Making The Film – The Cast Remembers
o Production Design
o The Music Score
o CGI Documentary
o Flashback
● Le Grand Prix at Cannes
● Ten deleted scenes with optional commentary
● “The Autobiography of Oldboy”: 3-hour video diary.

Lady Vengeance:

● Regular and Fade-To-White versions (with Park Chan-wook introduction to the Fade-To-White version)
● Audio commentaries:
o Director Park Chan-wook and actress Lee Young-ae
o Park Chan-wook, cinematographer Chung Chung-hoon and art director Choi Hyeon-seok
o Critic Richard Peña
● Making-of featurette
● EPK:
o Teaser
o Trailer
o Highlights
o Second making-of featurette
● The Style of Lady Vengeance:
o Visualization
o Production Design
o Costume & Makeup
o Art
o CG
● Deleted scenes with commentary
● Park Chan-wook:
o Interview with Park Chan-wook
o Park Chan-wook, “Mr. Vengeance”
o Photography featurette
o Director’s Choice, A short film recommended by Park Chan-wook
● Character interviews
o Lee Geum-ja
o Professor Baek
o Prisoners
o Families
● Lady Vengeance in Venice
● Get Together
● Trailer
● TV spots
● Poster gallery
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Vengeance-Trilogy-Blu-ray-109×120.jpg

Oh. My. God.

Imagine if you will, a cartoon version of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Now imagine that instead of young teenagers falling in love before they meet a tragic end, you have a story about young seals in love. Now image that snuggled amidst the tragedy of Shakespeare’s play, you have the worst puns, prat fall-based comedy and bizarre half-assed musical numbers this side of William Shatner on Prozac.

There’s really no need to imagine, because Phil Nibbelink has created (apparently single-handedly) such a movie.

Sealed with a Kiss translates a surprisingly large amount of Shakespeare’s classic play about two star-crossed lovers into a cheesy, cell-animated movie about seals.

Romeo, a brown seal, has fallen for Juliet, a white seal. Torn apart my their seal races’ hatred for each other and the scheming unwanted romances of a jealous elephant seal (apparently the prince of the ocean), Romeo and Juliet strive to find a way to be together — at all costs.

A literally last-minute happy ending saves this film from being one of the most awkward children’s movies ever made. Imagine having to explain to your toddler why Romeo and Juliet killed each other because they couldn’t be together. Crazy.

Just because the film ends on a happy note doesn’t mean that there still plenty of pretty traumatic moments in the film. There are still plenty of apparent deaths to traumatize your little ones. And if the seemingly tragic end of cute and cuddly seals isn’t enough to set your child off on a crying fit, there are the absolutely horrible music numbers sprinkled throughout the film.

There are slow spoken word doo-ops, bizarre quasi-raps, Shatner-esque Sinatra impressions and a completely inappropriate rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.”

Speaking of inappropriate, the story introduces a character named Kissy the Kissing Fish that serves as the film’s proxy for any annoying children you might be lacking while watching the film. Much like real children do during movies, Kissy the Kissing Fish frequently makes unwanted ear-grating observations about the film’s plot — seemingly to help children understand some of the nuances about Shakespeare’s story. Apparently, the fish is voiced by the writer/director/animator’s daughter so I guess I can understand why she gets so much screentime. It doesn’t make the character any easier to stand, though.

Watching the film, I was struck by two things: a morbid curiosity about whether or not the filmmaker was actually going to end the movie with the two seals killing themselves and the observation that the movie was really about interracial dating.

Instead of just having the main characters’ romance frowned upon by family members, the filmmaker chose to have all the ocean’s residents disgusted by the idea of the two seals, one brown and one white, dating.

Watching the two animals struggle to share their passion for each other while having to deal with the ocean’s prejudice gave me much to think about while I watched the crudely drawn cell animated characters play out over bizarre acid-inspired backgrounds.

Both of my sisters are in relationships with white men and almost every girl I have dated has been Caucasian. Even still, though, I couldn’t relate to Romeo, my brown brother of another species, deal with all the grief that came about due to his dipping in the powdered sugar. I’ve never dealt with any similar prejudice when I’ve dated white girls. Maybe its because I’m not that Hispanic — with my pale, sunlight deprived skin and complete lack of accent. Or maybe it’s just because us humans have progressed beyond the petty racism that still plagues the ocean.

Whatever the case, I can only hope for the best for my new seal friends as they venture out in their journey of color-blind love.

Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with a Kiss still sucked though.

Robert Saucedo can’t watch a movie about seals without thinking of that scene from Faces of Death. Follow him on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.

http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/romeo-and-juliet-sealed-with-a-kiss.gif
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/romeo-and-juliet-sealed-with-a-kiss-120×120.gif

Coming June 1st, Blu-ray connoisseurs can expect the high-definition release of War of the Worlds starring Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning and Tim Robbins. The release will be presented in 1080p High Definition with English 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio, French 5.1 Dolby Digital, Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital and Portuguese 5.1 Dolby Digital along with English, English SDH, French, Spanish and Portuguese subtitles.

All features that were found on the two-disc special edition DVD release will be ported over and, with the exception of the theatrical teaser trailer, will be presented in standard defintion. Supplemental material runs upwards of two hours and includes eight featurettes (“Revisiting the Invasion”; “The H.G. Wells Legacy”; “Steven Spielberg and the Original War of the Worlds”; “Characters: The Family Unit”; “Previsualization”; “Designing the Enemy: Tripods and Aliens”; “Scoring War of the Worlds”; and “We Are Not Alone”), a five-part Production Diary and four Photo Galleries.

Pricing for the Blu-ray is set at $39.99, but should be available in stores for $25 – $28.

SYNOPSIS: War of the Worlds stars Tom Cruise as Ray Ferrier, a father who is desperately trying to protect his teenage son (Justin Chatwin) and 10-year-old daughter (Dakota Fanning) from the relentless alien onslaught that is destroying everything in its path. Fueled by the desire to reunite the children with their mother, Ray battles to shepherd his family from New Jersey to Boston, all the while fending off the mysterious and deadly aliens.
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/paramount_thumbnail-120×120.jpg

The film is written by Peter Berg and James Vanderbilt, both of whom also collaborated on The Rundown for Universal. The stars of The Losers include Jeffery Dean Morgan (Watchmen); Zoe Saldana (Avatar, Star Trek

Compare to alternate poster drawn by Losers artist Jock:

The Losers opens nationwide on April 23rd.
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/The_Losers_movie_poster-1-120×120.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/The_Losers_movie_poster-300×143.jpg

]]>

The Ledge is the story of a man (Hunnam) standing on a high-rise ledge who insists he must jump by noon as the policeman below (Howard) tries to manage the situation.

In describing the project, Chapman says the film “examines the different and sometimes dangerous beliefs people adopt as a means of surviving emotional trauma.”

One of the producers on the project, Michael (Loverboy), explains further that “as more and more films succumb to the visual wizardry of 3D, The Ledge explores the fourth dimension: the interior life of tortured souls hovering over the precipice of emotional nullity. This film is the reason why I became an independent filmmaker and why I continue to suffer in the trenches of independent filmmaking.”

The Pulse: I’m trying to see how this is any different than the Kate Beckinsale film Winged Creatures (aka Fragments) from a few years ago. In that film, a group of strangers form a unique relationship with each other after surviving a random shooting at a Los Angeles diner. Will The Ledge flip the script and explore Hunnam’s character and his emotional state primarily or will it be more about emotional connections (ala Crash and others of its ilk). For some reason, I picture flashbacks being a relative occurrence in The Ledge as we learn more about Hunnam and why he feels he needs to jump off the ledge by noon.

Source: The Hollywood Reporter
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/liv-tyler-120×120.jpg

When a man feels love for someone else, they’ll do foolish things to make that person happy. Although most of the time the guy ignores logic to avoid that person constantly whining about something. Such is the fate of Alain Gaash (Gerard Depardieu) when he gives into the desires of his wife (Fanny Ardant). Hello Goodbye is a French film that takes us to Israel in a comic search for marital happiness and identity.

Alain is a well-respected gynecologist in Paris. He takes his wife to a fellow doctor’s apartment for a sabbath dinner. Even though he’s Jewish, Alain is completely out of place since he can’t read Hebrew. An old lady gets him to admit he isn’t circumcised. He’s not that religious and most people don’t think he’s Jewish. His wife gets uncomfortable since she converted to marry him. She badgers him into taking their vacation in Israel. She falls in love with the land and people. During a visit to the desert, they hang out with Jesus and Moses. She can’t remain in Paris. He gets an informal offer to practice at a Tel Aviv hospital and a good deal on a seaside condo that’s under construction. The wife sees it as their opportunity to pack up their Paris condo and make a new life in the Promised Land. He reluctantly agrees on the deal.

When they return to Israel to become citizens, things don’t quite go as planned. The condo project is at a standstill with permits issues. The gig at the hospital wasn’t a real offer. The old gynecologist hasn’t quite left. Turns out that there’s way more gynecologists than necessary in the country. The only job he gets offered is car detailing at a posh resort. There’s a major incident in the shipping of all their possessions. Nothing is smooth about this transition. But Alain gamely struggles with his wife’s dream. She’s embracing her new religion thanks to a hunky young rabbi. She’s not so casual about her spiritual practices. She won’t have sex with her husband until he gets circumcised. How far will he go to ensure she’s happy? Will he get snipped to prove it?

This could have been a very bleak movie about middle aged couple on the move. But Gerard Depardieu plays it for frustration instead of rage. This doesn’t turn into a Falling Down situation as his life collapses in the Holy Land. He doesn’t throw his hulking body around. Instead we focus on his eyes as he seeks to make Fanny Ardant feel good. He’s in the middle of a squeeze play since he can’t tick off his wife and his religion by doing the wrong things. Yet at the same time, his hands were made for popping out babies and not vacuuming cars. The ending turns on the sweetness which is expected since it’s hard to believe that Israeli authorities would allow them to shoot at the airport for a “this place is insane” finale. Depardieu and Ardant make Hello Goodbye a pleasure trip no matter how their journey ends.

The video is 1.85:1 anamorphic. The image is good enough that you’ll be able to take in the sights of Israel. The audio is a French track in both Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0. The subtitles are in English. The sound levels are fine if you speak any of the various languages used by the actors.

Hello Goodbye Trailer (1:48) lays out the movie honestly.

Photo Gallery (1:09) is a montage of production pics.

Making Of (26:50) focuses on how Fanny Ardant really does live in Tel Aviv. She gives a tour of the country includinga visit to the Wailing Wall. There’s no talking with Gerard.

Hello Goodbye is a refreshing light comedy about relocating to the Promised Land. Gerard Depardieu and Fanny Ardant bring a light touch to this French film that was mostly shot in Israel.

Liberation Entertainment presents Hello Goodbye. Directed by: Graham Guit. Starring: Gerard Depardieu and Fanny Ardant. Written by: Michael Lellouche. Running time: 99 minutes. Rating: Not Rated. Released on DVD: January 26. Available at Amazon.com.
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Hello-Goodbye-e1268149847577-113×119.jpg

Going out in a hail of gunfire as you battle an unstoppable army of razor-toothed, acid-blooded alien monsters is an honorable way to die. Being chased down by a lone zombie who can barely move a foot without literally loosing his foot is a downright shameful way to shuffle off the mortal coil.

From the themed displays at your local video store to any one of the late night marathons on cable television, Hollywood’s scariest are waiting to be watched. But with a glut of gory programming available, many disregard the genre as a whole, preferring to spend their viewing time with something a little less horrifying.

Apathy towards scary movies, my friends, is the surest way to find yourself under the blade of a demented clown-themed killer. If only you had taken the time to watch a few scary movies and jotted down some notes, you too would have known how to survive any clichéd horror movie plot.

Luckily for you, I’ve taken the time to prepare a few handy tips that will put you on the right track towards survival.

Horror movies may be formulaic and derivative, but that’s exactly why surviving one is as easy as pumpkin pie.

• When asked to put the lotion on the skin, politely decline. Your captive is trying to preserve your delicate epidermis in order to later harvest it in construction of a woman suit. In fact, take extra care to add to the deterioration of your overall appearance by taking up smoking and consuming greasy foods. Nobody wants a human-skin suit with acne scars — just look at Edward James Olmos and his long history of not being a human suit for a serial killer.
• When attempting to learn the running speed of an approaching zombie, throw a rock at it. If it stumbles along at a snail-like pace, the zombie can easily be avoided by running away. If it charges at you with an uncanny speed, question your motive for throwing the rock in the first place.
• When faced with an eminent exorcism, remember: The power of Christ compels you… to run away as fast as you can.
• When walking down a dark alley, do not advertise yourself as a victim. Instead, bring along a small child as a decoy victim.
• When filming a documentary about a local urban legend, remember to go prepared. Essential supplies include plenty of batteries, a compass, a map, a flare gun, enough food to last you a few days and a tripod in order to hold the camera strait for more then two freaking seconds.
• Werewolves are cunning beasts that can easily overpower their prey. Wait until they transform back into their weakened human forms before hitting them over the head with a two-by-four … made of silver.
• If you receive a phone call telling you that you will die in seven days after watching what looks to be some disturbing glimpse into a film student’s psyche, upload it onto YouTube with the tags “Star Wars Kid,” “Paris Hilton,” and “Pants on the Ground.” College frat boys everywhere will be unable to resist downloading it — spreading the curse to somebody far more deserving of death by creepy television girl.
• Do not forget to wear garlic around your neck when combating a vampire or trying to woo the heart of Mario the Plumber.
• If you suspect your next-door neighbor to be an alien out to replace you with a pod person, call La Migra.

Bad Movie of the Week — Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever is not for the squeamish.

To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure if it’s even for those with a gut of steel.

The film, a sequel to the movie that introduced the world to Eli Roth, picks up immediately after the end of Cabin Fever, with the original film’s star Rider Strong reprising his role as Paul.

A college student who was infected with the flesh-eating bacteria during a trip to a cabin in the woods, that favorite vacation spot for horny teenagers and grim reapers alike, Paul was left to die in a creek at the end of the first film. Unfortunately, Paul survives into the sequel long enough to contaminate a town’s water supply and provide audiences with one last explosive finale — leaving the Boy Meets World actor with little more then a thankless cameo.

From there, the movie focuses on a group of high school students as they prepare for prom by drinking from contaminated water bottles and swapping as much bodily fluids as humanly possible.

Meanwhile, Deputy Winston Olsen, the original film’s annoying hipster redneck played by Giuseppe Andrews, does his best half-assed attempt to cover up his involvement in spreading the deadly disease.

By prom night, the school is a cesspool of biological madness waiting to unfurl. Heavy makeup and shimmering dresses cover up oozing sores, seeping wounds and upset stomachs just are aching to projectile bloody vomit all over the gymnasium floor (and walls).

And the bloody vomit does indeed project.

While the original Cabin Fever featured some pretty gnarly make-up effects that gruesomely highlighted some of the more extreme symptoms of necrotizing fasciitis, the sequel skimps on the makeup and prosthesis in exchange for enough fake blood spewed out teenagers’ mouths to give Edward Cullen a hard-on.

That’s not to say the movie doesn’t feature its share of absolutely disgusting special effects.

The sight of a penis seeping white puss will ensure that anybody watching this movie will feel the need to take a long, through disinfectant shower after the credits roll — and probably not have sex for a good thirty days.

While Roth’s Cabin Fever was pretty surreal at times — practically becoming a flat-out comedy by the film’s end, Cabin Fever 2 director Ti West (The House of the Devil) made a pretty straightforward horror film.

Well, maybe he did — the production troubles on the film leave audiences guessing over whose film Cabin Fever 2 really is.

The trouble’s surrounding West’s film are pretty well known to horror fans by this time — with the movie having sat on a shelf ever since it was filmed in 2007.

Heavy reedits by producers led West to attempt to remove his name from the film. While he wasn’t able to go uncredited, West has since disowned the movie — claiming it was not the film he originally set out to make.

Regardless of intentions, the film that was released on DVD is a nice homage to late ‘70s/early ‘80s horror gorefests — when crummy picture quality went hand in hand with excessive violence.

For fans of gross-out horror, there is plenty to get excited about in Cabin Fever 2. Besides the abundance of bloody deaths, there is just the right amount of black humor to keep the proceedings light enough to enjoy. The cast, including Noah Segan, Marc Senter and Alexi Wasser, all do a pretty serviceable job moving the plot forward while not drawing attention from the film’s true star — the gallons of fake blood.

Besides the movie’s young cast, movie buffs should look for cameos from 30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander and American Movie star Mark Borchardt.

Cabin Fever 2 is a hard movie to put your finger on.

On one hand, it’s a pretty straightforward sequel to the original movie. It treads familiar ground while ratcheting up the stakes appropriately. On the other hand, though, there are some interesting touches that separate the film from the standard horror schlock that Lionsgate Entertainment churns out every year.

Crudely drawn animation bookends the film — whimsically showcasing how the disease spreads. A prolonged epilogue seems to serve no point other then giving audiences one last attempt to taste their own vomit. It’s these examples and more that showcase the film’s bipolar personality — it strives to be unique and thoughtful but at the same time never passes up a chance to go for a kidney punch.

Cabin Fever 2 is not a great movie — it’s not even a great sequel.

It’s not that bad of movie, either.

In the end, Cabin Fever 2 is doomed to live in that nebulous direct-to-video afterlife reserved for movies known more for their production troubles then the finished product.

Robert Saucedo lives in an apartment to avoid cabin fever. But he still goes a little mad…sometimes. Visit Robert on the web at www.robsaucedo.com.

http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/HorrorMovies-120×120.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/cabin-fever-2-photo-e1266790526633.jpg

My Name is Bruce is the perfect film for this column — a bad movie about bad movies.

Bruce Campbell, who also directed the film, stars as himself, a B-movie actor famous for making some of the worst movies known to mankind (not including, of course, the Evil Dead series). Down on his luck and more then a little dependent on the sauce, the film’s exaggerated version of Campbell is a complete asshole.

In what is essentially a coming-of-actor movie, Campbell is kidnapped by a dedicated fan and tricked into fighting a real-life monster that is plaguing a small mining community.

Bruce Campbell’s dedication to the part and willingness to throw everything he has on the screen makes the film more then enjoyable for those that are already fans of his work. Unfortunately, a terrible script, unbelievably bad acting from his co-stars and cheesy special effects firmly plant this movie alongside the rest of Campbell’s growing library of bad movies.

But that’s exactly how it should be.

Campbell has never been one to shy away from his role as the King of B-Movies. I don’t feel I’m alone in saying that Campbell’s acting chops could have (and perhaps should have) taken him far in Hollywood. He could have been a big action star (or at least the next William Shatner).

For whatever reason, though, he has built a career out of bad made-for-SyFy-Channel movies.

It’s only fitting that a movie in which he stars as a version of himself mistaken for the characters he plays in bad b-movies should, in fact, be a bad b-movie.

My Name is Bruce knows exactly who it’s audience is: people who like more-then-slightly racist Chinese stereotypes played by Ted Rami, kids who grew up idolizing Ash from Evil Dead, Internet geeks who can quote Campbell like English majors can quote Dickens and every other aficionado of bad movies currently browsing their local comic book store’s bootleg bin.

Only an actor truly comfortable in his place in Hollywood could parody himself as perfectly as Campbell has done. Campbell knows who his fans are and is willing to give something back that he knows they will enjoy.

Robert Saucedo was one of those kids who grew up idolizing Ash from Evil Dead. Follow him on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.

http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/my_name_is_bruce-e1268087796544-109×120.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/my-name-is-bruce.jpg

The Pulse: Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a huge comic nerd and that Iron Man is one of my favorites, so it’s not surprising that I’m super-excited about this sequel. Obviously, this new trailer has got my geek levels up to eleven, but what do you think? Does it look like 2 will live up to the high standard set by the first, will it surpass it, or will it tank?

Iron Man 2 is being released by Paramount Pictures with Jon Favreau directing and Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke, Scarlett Johansson, and Sam Rockwell starring.
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/ironman2-120×120.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Iron-Man-2-trailer-500×207.jpg

One of things that I’ve found amusing on the Tiger Woods “scandal” is the analysis of his big statement, et al, to the point where the Zapruder film looks like it’s been given a once-over. I thought he should’ve gone up to the podium and said “this is between me and my wife and everyone else can suck it as far as I’m concerned” then walked away giving the double bird but that’s just me. I get why he did what he did, but Simmons’ point (and one I think we don’t talk about enough) is just how much harder it is to be a professional athlete nowadays than ever.

With the advent of the web and the news cycle becoming near instantaneous, someone like Lebron James can walk down the street and buy a chili dog and it’s somehow newsworthy. Any time you screw up, no matter how insignificant, is news fodder now, and pro athletes (lest we forget) are in their peak years when they are at their least amount of mental stability (so to speak). Speaking from experience, as I’ve recently rounded out of the “insane male stupidity” age range of 16-29, you don’t make the best of decisions between those ages. I don’t believe in regrets, never have, but of all the things in my life I could change I imagine that when I’m old and on my death bed that 99.9999% of them will be focused between those two ages. At that point in my life I had varying shades of money; the more money involved the more problems you can have. If I had been a millionaire at that point I would’ve made several hundred mistakes then I made with the mere pittance I earned at various life insurance companies and brokerages.

If I had someone in their 40s and 50s had been giving narration on my life at that point, which is essentially what sports-writers and gossip columnists are, they’d have had a field day with the rampant stupidity back then. And that speaks to a higher point; we expect mature adult behavior out of athletes who are barely adults to begin with. It’s why guys like Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are the exception, not the rule; wisdom comes with experience, some of it gained in pain. The screw-ups of our youth mold us into the fully functioning people we are today, so as we see the modern professional athlete develop we see them screw up significantly as well did. Except instead of parents, and maybe the Uncle/Aunt one is close with, you have television networks and pundits debating and discussing every single facet of one’s life.

We shouldn’t be surprised when stuff like this happens because nowadays athletes have it way tougher then guys in the past have. But then again, thoughts like these kept me out of the good colleges.

Random Thoughts of the Week

The beauty of certain actors is that they have great lines that stick with you long after the film in question has lost relevance. No one really cares when Arnold started saying “I’ll be back,” they just like to us it with the awful accent when doing their Schwarzenegger impression. So riffing on movie lines, something any good cinephile does, largely depends on the actor. You really can’t pull the film resume of someone like Channing Tatum and have a lot to quote by. But sometimes, you get an actor that has some wit and wisdom behind them. So, in an effort to find something I can do whenever I have nothing else to write about, I think sometimes you need to find an actor who you can like and has tons of excellent quotes attributed to characters in the past. But in order to really do it, I think you need to do it like you do in any good pick ‘em sort of contest: by a draft.

Every good thing in life has a draft. Or ought to, at least.

Since I have like 10 people on the Inside Pulse Movies Staff, I figure a five round draft with 10 picks per diem ought to be good. And since I’m making all the picks, I’m going to have imaginary teams picking actors & actresses in a totally random order over an indiscriminate amount of time. Why?

Because it’s more fun that way.

I also need a commissioner to preside over the whole draft. Every good draft has a commissioner. Thus it’ll be this guy:

With that said, let the Wit and Wisdom Draft begin.

And with the 8th pick in the first round, the Sacramento Junk Punchers select: Academy Award winner Philip Seymour Hoffman

Charlie Wilson’s War (2007)

Gust Avrakotos: There’s a little boy and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse… and everybody in the village says, “how wonderful. The boy got a horse” And the Zen master says, “we’ll see.” Two years later, the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everyone in the village says, “How terrible.” And the Zen master says, “We’ll see.” Then, a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight… except the boy can’t cause his legs all messed up. and everybody in the village says, “How wonderful.”
Charlie Wilson: Now the Zen master says, “We’ll see.”

One of the great lessons of life….some things look bad now, but end up being advantageous later on.

Mission: Impossible III (2006)

Owen Davian: You hung me out of a plane. You can tell a lot about a person’s character by how they treat people they don’t have to treat well

A good way to tell a lot about someone’s character in a short amount of time is to see how they treat people like wait staff, et al. Its clichéd and something vapid enough to be on the wall of many a local Jimmy John’s but it’s true. The best way to know if a girl is a keeper is always how she handles herself to waitresses, bartenders and retail clerks. Conversely, the way animals react to someone is a good indicator of their character as well. I’ve found that if a dog does not like someone it’s for a good reason.

Almost Famous (2000)

Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world… is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.

I’ve always thought the true measure of a friendship is what you tell someone at your moment of weakness.

The Boat That Rocked, also released as Pirate Radio (2009)

The Count: Cuz if you shoot a bullet, someone dies. When you drop a bomb, many die. You hit a woman, love dies. But… if you say the f-word, nothing actually happens.

In the scheme of things, profanity and off-color commentary are just that. Granted I live my life one coarse statement at a time but ultimately it’s the truth. We get too offended by language in this country and not offended enough by other things.

Synecdoche, NY (2008)

Caden Cotard: I will be dying and so will you, and so will everyone here. That’s what I want to explore. We’re all hurtling towards death, yet here we are for the moment, alive. Each of us knowing we’re going to die, each of us secretly believing we won’t.

There’s one commonality to the sum of human existence: it ends. For the awfulness that Synecdoche, NY was, it tapped into one thing: the end of one’s existence. It’s the one thing I thought Kaufman got right with the film; tapping into that commonality of existence.

A Movie A Week – The Challenge

This Week’s DVD – Dexter (Season 3)

I hate episodic television, always have. One of the perks of the DVD era has been aimed squarely at guys like me; I can sit down and crank through a season in an afternoon or a weekend, depending on how much time I have. The downside to it is when I find a show I get into, I end up just destroying any chance of sleeping because I will crank through multiple seasons in a week. Case in point: Dexter.

This had been one of those shows I always heard great things about but never watched because I’ve always been too cheap to get premium cable. I always get basic cable, if only because it gets a discount on the premier internet connection if you time it just right. One of the perks of moving back home is that my dad LOVES his super package with the cable provider. In retirement he has thing he indulges in: his television habits. For sports, and primetime viewing, his massive television and surround sound system make for an awesome viewing experience. Plus HD makes everything better, it seems, as even the awfulness of Chicago sports teams doesn’t seem so bad when it’s in HD. So I was never able to watch Dexter and since I don’t blind buy television shows I chose to just avoid it while everyone kept screaming how excellent it was. Two things happened.

One – I was able to watch the fourth season in the span of an afternoon during a snowstorm stuck inside and watched most of that season on AT&T’s “Video on Demand” feature. And while I was fascinated, there were things and back-story I didn’t quite get and understand (even with the awesomeness that are episode guides on the web).

Two – Black Friday during a recession

With the first three seasons all under 10 bucks I couldn’t say no. Well, I could, but what fun is that? Sometimes you just got to go all in when given a reasonable justification and moderate evidence. Trying to get through the first three seasons was tough, given that life is somewhat busy, but Dexter is a simple television show to get into.

The title character has two lives. By day he’s a blood spatter analyst for the Miami PD. At night he’s the Bay Harbor Butcher, a serial killer who preys on killers and scumbags alike with no mercy and no quarter. Living by the code of the stepfather who saw the signs of his predilections early on, in flashbacks and pseudo-fourth wall moments by James Remar, he maintains a strict moral code while balancing the life of a father and eventual husband.

This season follows him as he takes on an apprentice of sorts as Jimmy Smits came aboard for a run as an assistant district attorney who forms a bond with the serial killer. He’s also balancing life as an expectant father with longtime girlfriend Rita (Julie Benz), as well as tracking down the usual scumbags and low-lives for use on his executioner’s table.

The third season is an oft-maligned one, and for good reason. The first two are insanely brilliant and as such it’s hard to keep up that sort of quality for long. The third season is just good to very good, not very good to a string of profanities before “awesome” so it’s easy to see how some people can think of it as a lesser season. It’s still better then tons of shows out there, still maintaining a great place and developing a lot of the secondary characters with mini-arcs over several episodes, but it doesn’t quite hit the masterpiece levels the first two seasons are. It also has a couple storylines that dovetail nicely into season four, when the series began to hit on all cylinders again.

Medium strength recommendation

What Looks Good This Weekend, and I Don’t Mean the $2 Pints of Bass Ale and community college co-eds with low standards at the Alumni Club

The Green Zone – Jason Bourne, err new Matt Damon character, does something and stuff.

See it – At worst it’s an inoffensive action flick. At best, it’s the fourth film in the Bourne franchise. I can live with that.

Our Family Wedding – Carlos Mencia and Forrest Whitaker our parents of a soon to be interracial couple. Shenanigans ensue.

Skip it – Whitaker isn’t funny, but he has an excuse. Mencia isn’t funny, either.

Remember Me – One of the Twilight kids gets to act, instead of look pretty.

See it – This should be the first true test of the Twilight franchise. Robert Pattinson is a big name because of the franchise. But can he draw outside of being a glittery vampire? The trailer to Eclipse is attached to this, so you could get a Phantom Menace effect to the first week’s receipts on this.

She’s out of My League – Jay Baruchel gets a hot chick. Shenanigans ensue.

See it – A low rent Knocked Up without the kid should still be pretty funny.

Do you have questions about movies, life, love, or Branigan’s Law? Shoot me an e-mail at Kubryk@Insidepulse.com and you could be featured in the next “Monday Morning Critic.” Include your name and hometown to improve your odds.
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Synecdoche-Movie-Review-Movie-Trailer-Philip-Seymour-Hoffman.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/wtf_pictures-ups-sewing-prom-120×120.jpg

As if I needed another reason to watch the upcoming Conan movie, news broke on IMDB (and confirmed by Latino Review) that Rachel Nichols, of dubious G.I. Joe fame, will play the character Tamara.

The casting breakdown describes Tamara as 18 to 24 years old, Caucasian or Middle Eastern, open to all ethnicities; beautiful, studious, correct, a novitiate of a Greek influenced monastery. A master of martial arts, she has been trained to be the Queen’s servant, bodyguard and best friend. She and many other female bodyguards to the queen have been in hiding most of their lives because of the curse of Acheron, which would take the queen’s life to bring almost immortal power to its king. When Khalar Singh, a powerful warlord with ambitions to become the king of Acheron, storms the monastery and captures all of the novitiates, she is separated from Ilira, the one she must protect. With all of her strength and will, Tamara is determined to find and rescue her. She finds herself in league with Conan because of a mutual need to find Khalar Singh. She is not in the least intimidated by Conan’s size or grim demeanor and their alliance eventually blossoms into something that surprises them both…

And in other Conan news, the same poster that broke the Nichols’ casting news also reports that Mickey Rourke will no longer play Conan’s father, Corin, presumably because of scheduling conflicts with his role in War of the Gods.

The Pulse: I kid about Nichols involvement in G.I. Joe, but I’ve seen her in other roles where she did a fine acting job. Her addition to the cast could work out well. As for the Rourke news, I hope that this one is wrong, because I think he’d be great as Conan’s father.

Conan is being produced by Lionsgate and will be directed by Marcus Nispel. No release date has been set.

Credit: Superhero Hype
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/rachel-nichols-e1268016832850-120×120.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/rachel-nichols-e1268016832850.jpg

Now who didn’t expect this? While I did say that Tim Burton lost his “creative spark” with Alice in Wonderland, apparently the public disagreed, helping to propel the film to the sixth biggest opening of all time with $116 million domestic (and a worldwide gross of $210 million). The film ousted Zack Synder’s 300 out of its number one spot by eclipsing the previous March record holder’s weekend take of $71 million.

The release of Alice in Wonderland is the biggest non-sequel opening ever (Avatar only made $77 million in its first weekend of release). Though with the box office heating up in the weeks and to come, don’t expect Alice to just eat a piece of cake and tower over the competition.

The only other big opener for the weekend was Antoine Fuqua’s Brooklyn’s Finest, a cop drama full of cliches. Which shouldn’t surprise anyone since it comes from a first-time screenwriter who more than likely had himself a marathon session of cop movies before writing the first draft. Scott’s review hit it right on the head: “The film feels like a retread of every other cop and crime thriller of the last decade.” Fuqua continues to ride the success of Training Day for all its worth, even though it’s mostly because of star Denzel Washington and David Ayer’s screenplay.

The release of Brooklyn’s Finest is the second in less than a month for distributor Overture. Its other film, The Crazies, continues to perform well, bringing in another $7 million. Its total stands at $27 million, which is well above its production budget. DVD rentals and sales should make it an even bigger hit on home video.

Martin Scorsese’s Shutter Island still continues to surprise audiences and other box office contenders. It narrowly missed out finishing in second with $13.3 million. When it is all said and done, it’ll be Scorsese’s second-highest grossing film ever, right behind The Departed. Cop Out saw a 50% drop in box office gross with $9.1 million, but added to its first week total of $18.2 million it has surpassed Zack and Miri Make a Porno as Kevin Smith’s biggest film to date.

The Tooth Fairy may have finally dropped out of the top ten, but Avatar keeps chugging away as it adds to its $720 million domestic earnings. Still hanging around in the top ten are Crazy Heart, which saw a theater count increase of 126 and saw its earnings increase by another 36%. That’s not bad at all.

Other Oscar hopefuls that saw boosts over the weekend were Sandra Bullock’s The Blind Side, A Single Man, An Education, Un Prophete, and The Lovely Bones – Paramount’s last ditch effort to support actor Stanley Tucci and his horrible comb over.

1. Alice in Wonderland – $116 million ($116 mil.)
2. Brooklyn’s Finest – $13.5 million ($13.5 mil.)
3. Shutter Island – $13.3 million ($95.8 mil.)
4. Cop Out – $9.1 million ($32.4 mil.)
5. Avatar – $7.7 million ($720 mil.)
6. The Crazies – $7 million ($27.4 mil.)
7. Percy Jackson – $5 million ($78 mil.)
8. Valentine’s Day – $4.3 million ($106 mil.)
9. Crazy Heart – $3.4 million ($29.6 mil.)
10. Dear John – $2.9 million ($76.7 mil.)

Credit: Box Office Mojo
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/boxoffice120.jpg
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/default500×250_boxoffice.jpg

Unlike most shows, I can still remember the first time I ever saw Night Court. I was flipping channels and I stopped on a strange sight. A very tall bald man in uniform carrying a ventriloquist puppet version of himself. Later I would learn that this zen-like idiot savant bailiff is Bull Shannon (Richard Moll) who would quickly become my favorite character on the show.

It case you were trapped in a cave in the ’80s, Night Court follows the crazy antics of the colorful characters that work the night shift at a Manhattan Court. This motley crew is led by the very unorthodox Judge Harry T. Stone who has a penchant for bad jokes and magic tricks and an unhealthy love of Mel Torme. There is also the misogynistic and lecherous prosecuting attorney, Dan Fielding (John Larroquette), the naive and mullet toting defending attorney, Christine Sullivan (Markie Post), the bailiffs: the aforementioned Bull and for one season only, Flo (Florence Halop) and Mac (Charles Robinson), the court clerk.

This is a really solid season of this show, with very few duds. It starts strong with the introduction of Flo and Christine to the cast and ends strong with a two-parter wherein four women are all about to give birth while stuck in the court during a hurricane. And there’s tons of great stuff in-between as well. From dwarf bosses and long lost friends with sex changes to crazy rock stars and orangutan’s the parade of wacky characters never ends on this show.

And what would a great season of Night Court be without at least one appearance from the likes of Mel Torme and Yakov Smirnoff? Well they each show up once this season and provide tons of great laughs.

This is a classic ’80s sitcom and thusly some of the jokes are very dated, they might go over your head, but even if you don’t get them all, they still bring a few chuckles.

Episodes:
Disc 1:

Hello, Goodbye (9/26/85)

While Harry searches for someone to take Selma’s place, Bull goes on a bender to mourn his friend’s passing.

The Hostage (10/3/85)

A confused man who claims he’s from Saturn gets his hands on an evidence gun and takes Dan hostage.

Dad’s First Date (10/17/85)

Christine freaks out when she learns that her dad had hist first date in years, then things get worse when he’s arrested for soliciting a prostitute.

Mac And Quon Le: No Reservations (10/24/85)

Mac needs to borrow money from his millionaire grandfather to open a restaurant, but he’s worried what he’ll thing of his wife, Quon Le.

Halloween Too (10/31/85)

In what’s easily the least funny episode of the season, Harry falls quickly in love with a woman but soon finds out she’s a witch.

Best Of Friends (11/7/85)

Dan is excited to visit with his old college buddy, Chip. But his happiness is quickly destroyed when he learns that Chip is now Charlene.

Dan’s Boss (11/14/85)

When Dan meets his boss, a dwarf, the short jokes begin to flow. But his boss might end up having the last laugh.

Up On The Roof (11/28/85)

Things get crazy when a rock star cancels his near by concert and ends up being brought in. Harry tries to deal with the rock star’s shrink, but the shrink might not have the rock stars best interests in mind.

Disc 2:

Wheels Of Justice: Part 1 (12/5/85)
Wheels Of Justice: Part 2 (12/12/85)

Harry and the other are all worried that they might not get paid. But when Harry can’t use the law to help a family in need he questions whether or not he want’s to continue being a judge.

Walk Away, Renee (12/19/85)

Bull has fallen in love, too bad she’s a prostitute who is only interested in getting his money. Now Harry has to break the bad news to him.

Dan’s Escort (1/9/86)

To make extra money Dan becomes and escort-for-hire, but the man with no morals must face a moral crisis when his aging client want to sleep with him. Meanwhile, everyone’s favorite Russian, Yakov, shows up with a crisis of his own.

The Night Off (1/16/86)

Harry is hoping for a quite night off, but when his substitute judge appears to be losing his mind, it’s up to Harry to sort the poor guy out.

Harry And Leon (1/23/86)

Harry learns that Leon the shoeshine boy is an orphan and decides to be his foster father.

The Apartment (1/30/86)

Harry decides to host a birthday party for Dan and everything goes wrong. Then the social worker stops by to check on Leon.

Leon, We Hardly Knew Ye (2/6/86)

Leon gets adoptive parents much quicker than Harry thought, and this makes him sad. At the same time Mel Torme is in buildling but he and Harry keep missing each other.

Disc 3:

The Mugger (2/20/86)

When Christine is mugged she wonders if she can defend people any more.

Could This Be Magic? (2/27/86)

Harry meets his childhood idol who turns out to be a good-for-nothing.

Monkey Business (3/6/86)

A scientist and his orangutan are brought into the court and Bull quickly befriends the orangutan.

Flo’s Retirement (3/13/86)

Flo is being forced to retire but she doesn’t want to so Harry tries to think of a way to save her job.

Hurricane: Part 1 (5/1/86)
Hurricane: Part 1 (5/1/86)

A hurricane traps for expecting mothers in the court and they all go into labor so it’s up to the gang to help deliver all the babies.

The show is presented in a 1.33:1 fullscreen format. It’s not a bad looking show for how old it is. It looks and sounds like you’d expect it to.

None.

I loved this show when I was a kid and hadn’t seen it in at least fifteen years. Frankly, I was surprised how many episodes I remembered. It was like visiting with an group of old friends and I quite enjoyed myself. I’m not sure if I’d recommend buying the show, but it’s certainly worth renting. Sadly, there are zero special features.

Warner Bros. presents Night Court: The Complete Third Season. Created by: Reinhold Weege. Starring: Harry Anderson, John Larroquette, Richard Moll, Markie Post, Charles Robinson and Florence Halop. Running time: 526 min. on three discs. Released on DVD: February 26, 2010. Available at Amazon.com
http://movies.insidepulse.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Night-Court-Third-Season-e1267914478302-109×120.jpg