Judd Apatow unleashed many things when he crafted The 40 Year Old Virgin, a sweet and remarkably vulgar romantic comedy, but the one thing that people have taken from that film is that one can take a good romantic comedy and pepper it with enough vulgarity to expand its appeal beyond the usual “chick flick” audience. And that’s what She’s Out of My League essentially is: an inoffensive PG-13 romantic comedy with some depth and enough vulgarity to justify its R rating.

Kirk (Jay Baruchel) is a dorky TSA employee pining over his ex (Lindsay Sloane) and works with friends of his from high school: wannabe rock star Stainer (T.J Miller), ladies man Jack (Mike Vogel) and the married Devon (Nate Torrence). And then one day they all meet event planner Molly (Alice Eve) in a meet cute sequence in which Kirk finds himself in possession of her lost cell phone. When a thank you involves a double date with Stainer to a hockey game with her co-worker (Krysten Ritter), sparks fly between the two and a relationship ensues.

The last true story-telling genre in Hollywood is the romantic comedy, if only because the conventions are so well known that in order to really tell a good story one has to do it well. And while She’s Out of My League doesn’t reinvent the wheel in that aspect, there’s a touching emotional aspect to it that lifts it above the formulaic conventions it mainly inhabits. And it starts because its two leading characters have a believable chemistry.

For both it represents their first foray into a leading light. Baruchel has mainly been known for smaller roles in better films while Eve has been in a number of smaller films up until this point. They work well together as there’s a fumbling nature to their relationship that is refreshing. The way they move around each other and react is interesting to watch; it gives a lot of credence to what is seemingly the newfound Hollywood convention of the socially awkward ugly guy and the fetching beauty finding love with one another.

The other reason why the film works as well as it does is because of the script. The film has a number of good, emotional moments that allow both Kirk and Molly to be fully realized characters as opposed to one note clichés. Several of their major arguments throughout the film have enough perspective to see both sides. There’s a real relationship between the two, or as real as it can get in a film, and the issues between them aren’t simple. For Kirk, he’s always worried that Molly is going to leave him for someone better. It’s interesting to see how he handles it and how it’s discussed between his friends. For Molly, she’s given more to work with then merely being the object of pursuit. It’s refreshing to see a female character in a romantic comedy given some depth.

She’s Out of My League suffers because it holds quite rigidly to the conventions of the genre. Where there could be more interesting turns and developments in the story, which is where it seems to be going, there are the clichéd developments from dozens of inferior films about a boy meeting a girl. It’s a shame, really, because there’s a brilliance in it waiting to come out that never really does.

Director: Jim Field Smith
Notable Cast: Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve, Mike Vogel, Krysten Ritter, T.J Miller, Nate Torrence, Lindsay Sloane, Geoff Stults, Debra Jo Rupp
Writer(s): Sean Anders & John Morris

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One of the great surprises in the days leading up to South by Southwest was the announcement that there was going to a first-look at Predators that is being produced by Robert Rodriguez’s Troublemaker Studios and distributed by 20th Century Fox. As hundreds rushed into the famed Alamo Drafthouse of Austin, they were in for a treat. Rodriguez appeared in front of a packed audience alongside Nimrod Antal and special effects master Gred Nicotero. After pleasantries and introductions, Rodriguez screened the trailer twice, to much of the delight of those in attendance.

Rather than go into the nuts and bolts of what the footage consisted of, the clip has gone viral and has been attached below for your viewing pleasure.

After the footage, Rodriguez fielded numerous questions about the film’s production and instilled that Predators is to be thought of as a sequel to John McTiernan’s 1987 original starring the bad-ass team of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Carl Weathers. A case could be made that the film will bear resemblance to James Cameron’s sequel to Alien where, instead of a single predator picking off the squad one by one, the team will be forced to battling a swarm of musclebound characters with Jamaican dreadlocks.

Predators will open in the heart of summer on July 9th. A full theatrical trailer will debut on March 18, 2010. If you log on to the official Web site, you can view a photo gallery of the predator hound as well as read a synopsis about the film.
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At the risk of treading the same ground as every other hack movie critic come this time in April, Kick-Ass is just plain kick ass.

I’m sorry, but there is just no better way to sum up the general attitude, atmosphere and execution of Matthew Vaughn’s adaptation of Mark Millar and John Romita Jr.’s comic book.

While liberties were had with the storyline and some changes are better executed then others, the movie, as a stand-alone project, succeeds in what it set out to do: tell an off-beat superhero story about a loser who finds fame and nookie after putting on a superhero costume and getting his ass kicked.

Aaron Johnson plays Dave Lizewski, a high school geek who, in an attempt to provide meaning for his life, decides to become a superhero. Ordering a wet suit off the Internet and arming himself with a pair of batons, Dave takes to the streets as Kick-Ass — the world’s first official superhero (even if he doesn’t officially have superpowers).

Along for the journey are a trio of fellow vigilantes: Hit Girl, a cute-as-a-button pre-teen girl played by Chloe Moretz who will gladly rip your head off and show it to you; Big Daddy, a former cop and Hit Girl’s father played by Nic Cage in a weird amalgam of Greg Brady and Adam West’s Batman; and Red Mist, an even bigger dork then Lizewski with a dark past played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse.

Like I mentioned above, the move takes massive liberties with the source material — especially in the film’s climax. Fortunately, much like Vaughn’s adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s Stardust managed to build upon a great book to make an amazing movie, the changes in Kick-Ass don’t stick out like a sore thumb and actually lead to a pretty satisfying ending — though I do miss one particular twist about Cage’s Big Daddy character that was left out of the movie.

If you are thinking of taking your kids to see the movie because of the colorful costumes and peppy tween superhero — think again! The movie is as violent as a Charles Manson slumber party and four-letter words are thrown around more then feces at a chimpanzee retirement home.

Kick-Ass is like a cross between Quentin Tarantino and Richard Donner — a big, sweeping epic film that’s not afraid to get down and dirty with blood, guts and dismemberment.

In one particularly QT-move, the soundtrack almost exclusively of a lot of pop songs and score music ripped straight from other films. Much like it does in Tarantino’s films, this musical choice helps to build a sense of familiarity with the subject matter and makes it easier for audiences to associate with the fantastical violence being perpetrated on screen by a 12-year-old girl with a butterfly knife. Moments where 3 Doors Down’s Kryptonite blends seamlessly into Joan Jett’s Bad Reputation help to create a pop culture pastiche that easily sells a world where a teenage kid can associate so much with fiction that he decides to become a four-color crime fighter.

The movie is a blast, through and through. Hopefully it will open big when it hits theaters on April 16. The buzz that will erupt around the movie after SXSW should help in that regard.

If you didn’t get a chance to see the film  at SXSW this weekend, brace yourself for a very long month until you get your own chance to have your ass kicked.

Category: Headliners
Director: Matthew Vaughan

Inside Pulse — Movies will be on the ground at SXSW! For live coverage from the event, follow Robert Saucedo and Travis Leamons on Twitter at @robsaucedo2500 and @skipkassidy.
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What can be said about The Alamo that won’t fall on deaf ears? Most Texans (really, the only type of people worth a consideration) viewed The Alamo and enjoyed what they saw. Many even clapped or hooted and hollered at the end.

Last decade’s cinematic portrayal of the famous San Antonio suicide stand, unfortunately, had the power to sweep Texas audiences up in a sea of approval that regrettably blinded them to the fact that the movie they were cheering so hard for was pedestrian and uninspired.

Anyone who has sat in on Texas history in grade school knows the heroic story of the Alamo. Even some of you from lesser geographical locals can recite the fabled tale. For those not in the know, though, Mexico invited Americans to come and live in Texas. Americans moved in and brought their slaves. Dictator Santa Anna took over the Mexican government and passed new changes, among them a government-mandated religion and the banning of slaves. “Texicans” disagreed with the new rules and wanted to take Texas for themselves. So, Santa Anna sent troops to quell the rebellion and the battle eventually moved to the San Antonio mission, the Alamo.

The most recent film to detail that battle gives a brief rundown of the background before moving into the days surrounding the 1836 standoff at the Alamo. It does a good job of introducing important figures in Texas history within the first few minutes of the movie. The director notably chooses to portray the legendary figures not as the demigods they have become in Texas history, but as real men, giving them the vices and weaknesses that help humanize them.

Sam Houston (Dennis Quaid) is an alcoholic who lacks the confidence in his men. Davy Crockett (Billy Bob Thornton) is running from a failed election and his own insecurities. James Bowie (Jason Patric) is a loud braggart of a man whose life is troubled by problems with gambling and alcohol. William Travis (Patrick Wilson) ran away from his family in another state to lead a battle with men who don’t even want him.

The movie wasn’t named Conversations at the Alamo, though, and the real draw for audiences is the battle. The siege of the Alamo is a cookie-cutter example of how to make a successful war movie. Take one group of ragtag soldiers, add a dastardly villain, a bombastic score and a splattering of poetic shots filled with moderate gore and you have the gist of The Alamo.

There are a few shots that stand out. One memorable moment occurs when a young child is standing on a hill on the outskirts of San Antonio, watching cannonballs fly and soldiers battle for their lives in the mission like tiny ants.

The movie makes no fuss about keeping its ending a secret — one of the first lines in the movie is “They are all dead” — so neither will this review try and hide the fact that The Alamo didn’t end in group hugs.

Travis’ death is remarkable if just for the fact that there is a clear lack of attention to it. A single bullet ends the life of a character who the audience just witnessed write a letter to his son. This showcases beautifully the sheer anonymity of war. No matter how much a story focused on one particular character, Travis’ death is just a fraction of the entire battle. In the end, everybody (no matter how anonymous they may have been in the larger scheme of the battle) met the same end.

One of the most disappointing parts of The Alamo is the lack of attention that went into humanizing the Mexican forces. The movie may have been set from the Americans’ perspective, but there was absolutely no motivation given for the Mexicans’ siege except in Santa Anna’s hammy speeches that include everything but the evil laughter needed to make a mustache-twirling villain. Audiences are given a cold, ruthless portrayal of Santa Anna but no reasoning behind his advancing forces. It seems the director only felt the need to set up a villain that audiences could hiss at and gave no consideration to the fact that the Mexicans were merely trying to take back what was being stolen from them.

What audiences were given with The Alamo is a cash cow attempt to bank on the recent surge in patriotism. What audiences were not given is an original exploration into an epic part of Texas’ history. Maybe that’s why last decade’s film is almost all but forgotten.

Robert Saucedo is a proud Texan. Don’t mess with him. Follow him on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.
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The first half of the movie deals with the burgeoning Islamic punk scene. As a motley crew of musicians, many of them inspired by Michael Muhammad Knight’s 2003 novel, The Taqwacores, travel together on a bus touring the American countryside, they attempt to make a name for themselves and their music beyond the immediate assumptions associated with religious rock.

The bands, including a Punjabi punk group out of Boston, an Arab heavy metal group from Chicago and an all-female punk rock group from Canada, offer a full spectrum of music that might not necessarily be associated with the Muslim culture.

As the group (including Knight, who is traveling with the musicians he helped inspire) breaks free from stereotypes with their provocative, sometimes inflammatory, lyrics, the film does an excellent job at offering up some background into the Taqwacore movement and its increasing growth in popularity.

As the movie switches into its second half, though, the setting changes from the tour bus to Pakistan, where members of The Kominas, the punk band from Massachusetts, have relocated.

When Knight travels to visit his old friends, the movie changes gears and moves into new, equally interesting territory — exploring the Islamic punk music’s effect and impact on non-American Muslims. Glimpses into the lives of the musicians and Knight himself help flesh out the movement and give a face to the music.

While the transition between the two different themes in the documentary is somewhat jarring and distracts a bit from the overall film, Taqwacore remains an excellent movie — offering an in-depth look at a fascinating culture. The movie is a must-see at SXSW — or anywhere you have the opportunity to watch it.

Taqwacore is actually one of two films to play at SXSW that was inspired by the Taqwacore music scene. The Taqwacores, an adaptation of Knight’s novel directed by Eyad Zahra, will also screen at the film festival.

Category: 24 Beats Per Second
Director: Omar Majeed
Showtimes: Sunday, March 14 at 7 PM at Alamo Ritz and Friday, March 19 at 12 PM at G-Tech

Inside Pulse — Movies will be on the ground at SXSW! For live coverage from the event, follow Robert Saucedo and Travis Leamons on Twitter at @robsaucedo2500 and @skipkassidy.

The South by Southwest film festival will be held in Austin from March 12 through the 20th. For more information about attending the festival and the films being shown, visit www.sxsw.com/film.
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Still unknown is who will play Steve Rogers, Captain America’s alter ego.

In the Marvel comics, Red Skull has been Captain America’s archenemy since 1941, when he engaged in espionage and sabotage as Hitler’s right-hand man. In his final battle with the superhero, he was buried under the rubble of a bombed building but — as would occur later with Captain America — fell into a state of suspended animation. Both were revived in modern times.

The Pulse: It seems that Hugo Weaving keeps jumping from franchise to franchise. He’s done it with The Lord of the Rings and The Matrix, so why wouldn’t he want to ham it up as a villain once again? If the deal is hammered out, it’ll be Hugo’s second time doing comic-book fare, as he played V in Warner Bros. big screen adaptation of Alan Moore’s V for Vendetta. And if Captain America is the success that Marvel Studios is anticipating, it could mean seeing him in future films – like The Avengers – as well as any sequels to Captain America.

Source: Heat Vision
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Bang!

Few TV movies have lasting images. Visually they reflect the fast and cheap production values that are slightly above the average one hour drama. There’s no time to artistically frame the action. Most of them are completely forgettable. However Elvis opened with a bang. A frustrated King of Rock gets sick of the evening news and blasts the TV with his revolver. The shot announced that Kurt Russell was now an adult after a decade of teen movies for Disney. John Carpenter proved he could direct a film that followed a cultural icon instead of a homicidal maniac. The duo elevated what could be another forgettable Dick Clark production into the cream of the Elvis biopics.

The film was made barely a year after Elvis’ death, but the action only went from his childhood to his 1969 comeback in Las Vegas. Russell didn’t have to deal with transforming into the fat Elvis. He remained the sleek youthful Elvis without turning into a horrific nightmare blob. Carpenter wasn’t completely out of his genre. He presented Elvis as a man haunted by ghosts. He’s born as part of twins, but Jesse Garon died during delivery. During the quiet moments, Elvis talked to his dead twin brother as a way to stay grounded. Midway through the film, his mother (Shelley Winters) died. He gained another ghost. But in this emotionally dark time, Elvis found comfort in an extremely young girl named Priscilla (Season Hubley). While nobody called him a villain, Col. Tom Parker (Pat Hingle) was the obstacle for Elvis’ ability to develop as an artist. It’s Parker that makes him spend the ’60s in dozens of goofy musical movies. While the ‘60s gave us new idols, Elvis languished in a Hollywood studio making Clambake. It’s when when he goes beyond the plans of Parker that Elvis restored his image. His comeback TV special was backed up by a series of live shows in Vegas. TV news reporters thought Elvis was over. He’s a relic as the Woodstock nation rose. This nay saying led him to reach for his revolver instead of the remote control to switch off the TV. Would he choke on stage?

Even though the movie is positive, they didn’t get permission to shoot in the actual Graceland. While the front gate looks similar, the house and layout aren’t close to the real residence. There’s a lot of instances where things aren’t close to authentic. But that’s the nature of a TV movie’s budget. Russell comes off as the real deal even if Ronnie McDowell plays his singing voice. He doesn’t play Elvis as a doomed figure. There’s an optimism in the final reel as the King has reclaims his crown from those pesky Beatles. Russell puts on the Vegas show better than any impersonator. We’re not forced to see the decline of Elvis ending in the fatal visit to the toilet. We can appreciate his artistry and music at the end of Elvis.

The video is 1.78:1 anamorphic. While the movie ran on TV in America, it did play theaters around the world. Nothing gets drastically cropped on the screen. The audio is Dolby Digital 2.0 mono. Things are fine for TV movie standards.

Audio Commentary by “The Voice Of Elvis” Ronnie McDowell and Author Edie Hand. Is OK, but not as electrifying as you’d expect from such a project.

Bringing A Legend To Life (10:13) is a vintage promo about Kurt Russell and John Carpenter tackling the King’s life.

Rare Clips From American Bandstand (4:52) lacks any real footage of Elvis. Mainly it’s Dick Clark asking the kids who they like more: Elvis or the Beatles.

Photo Gallery has 30 production pics.

While there have been numerous other biopics about Elvis, John Carpenter’s Elvis remains at the top. There’s a passion for the man and his music in this film. Kurt Russell doesn’t come off as a cheap Vegas lounge act. He’s invested in tapping into the emotions of being Elvis. It helps that as a kid, he acted with Elvis in It Happened At the World’s Fair. He glimpsed what the man was like outside the spotlight and when it was showtime. In a time when many were lampooning or denigrating the dead superstar, Kurt Russell gave him dignity. Elvis is a fitting memorial. This is a recommended buy for both fans of Elvis and devotes of Russell & Carpenter’s movies.

Shout! Factory presents Elvis. Directed by: John Carpenter. Starring: Kurt Russell, Shelley Winters, Season Hubley, Pat Hingle & Ed Begley Jr. Screenplay by: Anthony Lawrence. Running Time: 168 minutes. Released on DVD: March 2, 2010. Available at Amazon.com.
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The Blair Witch Project for fratboy cryptozoologists, Jimmy Tupper VS The Goatman of Bowie has an undeniable charm hidden beneath a pimply exterior.

The latest entry in the ever-growing “found footage horror” genre, JTVSTGMOB is the second full-length feature from writer, director and star Andrew Bowser.

In the film, Bowser stars as Jimmy Tupper, a near-constant drunk who stumbles from one binge-drinking session to the next until he chooses the wrong night to pass out in front of his friends. Sensing the perfect opportunity for a prank, Jimmy’s pals drag his sorry ass out into the middle of the woods and leave him there overnight.

When Jimmy fails to show up at his job the next day, his friends set out into the woods to locate their missing chum. What they find is a banged-up, very much pissed-off Jimmy ranting about a close-encounter with the furry kind — specifically the fabled Goatman of Bowie.

When, as per horror movie logic, his friends refuse to believe him, Jimmy sets back out into the woods armed with a video camera — determined to catch evidence of his would-be attacker.

Jimmy Tupper VS The Goatman of Bowie is a hard movie to recommend — yet I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the heck out of it the first time I watched it.

As is the weakness of most found-footage horror films, there is a whole lot of fluff inserted into the movie that is designed to create an aura of authenticity. While this filler is often times hard to sit through without growing a little fidgety, I will admit that it does help build a growing tension — if only as a desire for something, anything to happen.

Bowser’ Jimmy Tupper is a hapless loser — someone who starts the film almost completely unlikable but, throughout the course of the movie, manages to slightly win over the audience with the rambling one-man banter he keeps with himself as he searches the wood for any cryptoids that might be present.

The real reason I have to recommend the film to any horror movie fans is the great, imaginative ending. I have been threatened with death by trip, trip, trapping  if I reveal anymore about the film’s climax so I will just say this: the payoff is worth the wait.

Bowser says he intends JTVSTGMOB to be the first in a trilogy of horror films — each one growing in scope and scale. If this is true, I can’t wait for the next movie in the series. While Jimmy Tupper still has a few warts that prevent me from recommending it to everybody, I can totally see it becoming the Evil Dead to Jimmy Tupper 2’s Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn.

Since the film is a midnight screener, I totally recommend audience members pop a few caffeine pills and maybe pound a Red Bull or two before sitting down to watch Jimmy Tupper. The movie’s slow start may put a few to sleep but those that sink into a slumber will miss out on Bowser’s fresh twist on an increasingly stale genre.

Category: Midnighters
Director: Andrew Bowser
Showtimes: Sunday, March 14 at 11:45 PM at Alamo Ritz, Tuesday March 16 at 11 PM at Alamo Ritz and Saturday, March 20 at 11 PM at Alamo Ritz

Inside Pulse — Movies is on the ground at SXSW! For live coverage from the event, follow Robert Saucedo and Travis Leamons on Twitter at @robsaucedo2500 and @skipkassidy.

The South by Southwest film festival will be held in Austin from March 12 through the 20th. For more information about attending the festival and the films being shown, visit www.sxsw.com/film.


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Religious satire is a tricky act to undertake.

You can’t be overly critical of anybody’s beliefs or you will be seen as mean-spirited or hurtful. You can’t be overly preachy or highfalutin with your message unless you want to drive away your potential audiences with burning torches of boredom. And, perhaps most importantly, you don’t want to be overly goofy if you want to be taken seriously as a movie with a message.

While I may be in the minority, I think The Invention of Lying was a comedy successfully able to poke fun at organized religion without falling prey to the countess dangers that present themselves to movies in this genre.

On the other hand, Ultrachrist! is a movie that never successfully decides what it wants to be and, in the end, resigns itself to an embarrassment of excess.

A tongue-in-cheek slapstick spoof of RoboCop with a recently returned Jesus Christ as a spandex-wearing superhero on a quest to rid the world of sin and spread his ministry, the movie is for the most part amateurish, yet charming, fun.

Clearly a labor of love, Ultrachrist! is shot with guerilla filmmaking tactics, managing to craft a story larger then the film’s budget may seem to have allowed. The filmmakers were able to flesh out the world of their film by seemingly utilizing the real-life citizens of New York City as extras. Doing so, I imagine, without the use of permits or permission.

When Jesus returns to Earth but is shocked to discover he no longer relates to today’s youth, he decides to don a superhero identity. This new tactic gains the attention of Satan, taking the physical form of New York City’s Parks and Recreation commissioner.

Satan decides to combat Jesus on his own terms by raising an army of some of the evilest souls to ever darken the doorsteps of hell: Dracula, Hitler, Richard Nixon and Jim Morrison.

It’s up to Jesus to save the world with a little help from his friends: a seamstress with self-esteem issues, the patron saint of erotic massages, a duo of self-proclaimed lipstick lesbians and the self-centered anchorwoman for a cable news network.

Unlike the far-more-enjoyable Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, Ultrachrist! turns out to be somewhat of a boring mess — albeit an impressive one.

I can respect any movie that is manages to find distribution despite the fact that its budget was obviously less then the catering costs of one hour’s filming on Transformers 2.

In the end, though, pure pluck and determination can’t help elevate the film from its humble origins or the fact that the movie never quite settles on an appropriate tone.

The movie relies on the same tired jokes time after time — never presenting the necessary building blocks of an independent comedy: true originality or cutting-edge observational humor.

Mainstream Hollywood can get by on clichés, but in order for a low-budget film to find audiences’ attention it needs something they haven’t seen before.

Watching the movie, though, I was reminded of the fond memories I have of shooting homemade movies during high school.

It is obvious that the filmmakers behind Ultrachrist! had just as much fun as I did making movies with my friends — and that I cannot fault them for. If they found a little success in the end product, that’s a great accomplishment for them.

The movie may not have been the edgy religious satire it seemed it wanted to be, but at least it had some pretty fun moments that celebrated the art of home movies.

Plus I got to see Jesus Christ fight the Lizard King.

Robert Saucedo still thinks Bibleman has the best Christian superhero costume ever. Follow Robert on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.

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The Boondock Saints was released back in January 2000, and like many small films, it found itself only being shown on a handful of screens, and didn’t come close to earning a fraction of its production budget back. Although, some of these small films find their way to DVD shelves, and it’s there that they can flourish in ways some may have not expected given their lackluster theatrical releases. The Boondock Saints was one of those rare films that picked up a huge following, and because of the passion of the fans, and those who worked on the film, nine years later, a sequel has finally been brought to the light of day.

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day takes place eight years after the first film ends, and we find the brothers, Connor (Sean Patrick Flanery) and Murphy (Norman Reedus) back in Ireland with their father (Billy Connelly). The three have set up what seems to be a peaceful life having fled their home in Boston after their vigilante killing spree came to a head those eight years back. This peaceful escape doesn’t continue, however, as an innocent priest is killed back in Boston using the Saints vigilante killing methods to lure them out of hiding.

While catching a return trip back to Beantown upon a cargo ship, the brothers meet a feisty Latino by the name of Romeo (Clifton Collins Jr.) who wants to join them in their crusade, and offers them his resources back in Boston in return. The brothers agree, with a few ground rules, but all in all, they’re ready to reign down vengeance once the boat docks.

A big fan favourite in the first film was FBI agent Paul Smecker, played by Willem Dafoe. Dafoe made this role much more than it would have been had it gone to someone else; and it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to say that he stole the show the first time around. This time, his replacement is Julie Benz (TV’s Dexter, Rambo), who plays Special Agent Eunice, and while nobody could live up to the standards Dafoe set in the first film, Benz holds her own and makes an interesting addition to the crew.

Speaking of the crew, almost 10 years later, and fans of the original will be pleasantly surprised to find that a great deal of characters returned for the sequel – and not just the characters, but the original actors who played them as well. This adds a huge amount of value to the sequel, and makes it that much more meaningful overall as it’s pretty much an exact continuation of the story for almost everyone involved.

Writer/Director Troy Duffy took considerable care of his baby, as he didn’t rush this sequel into play. In fact, it’s been ‘in production’ almost immediately after the first one picked up a following, as rumours flew within the community, and Duffy himself said a sequel was coming; though after a while, hope began to fade. During that time, his visions were obviously clear as to how he wanted the sequel perceived, as the style, and substance within All Saints Day are rock solid. He took the concepts he used the first time around, and elaborated on them, making sure this wasn’t just a rehash of the old.

Sequels to beloved movies have pros and cons: on the plus side, they have a built in audience. On the downside, that same audience knows what it wants, and loves the original for a reason. Any major amount of tinkering, or unjustifiable changes can make them feel alienated, and as seen many times before, they will act as though the sequel never existed. Luckily, The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day is a film that fans of the original will likely be pleased with. While it doesn’t grab you with the same magic the first film had, it still grabs you, and makes sure it secures itself a place not far behind.

Released in 2.35:1 Anamorphic Widescreen, The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day looks great visually. There aren’t any moments where you find yourself distracted by any sort of blur, or fuzzy edges as everything in this transfer looks sharp. The audio is 5.1 Dolby Digital, and sounds solid. While some will have no problems, others may find themselves turning on the subtitles in order to clearly hear through some of the accents, or faster spoken dialogue at certain times. Overall, however, there’s no issue with the sound quality.

Deleted Scenes - As someone who isn’t a major fan of deleted scenes, mainly due to the fact that they’re usually deleted for a reason, I was curious to see what Duffy chose to cut. After watching the film, it’s nice to see that there were only two deleted scenes, and both, understandably cut. While one could have found a place, and would have been nice to have seen, it is also clear to see that it would’ve thrown the pacing of the film off dramatically, and it better left on the cutting room floor.

Director/Cast Commentaries - There are two separate commentaries, both with different cast members joining Duffy. Fans will no doubt get a kick out of hearing these guys all talking together, as they really love what they do with these characters, and that always helps make everything that much stronger.

Unprecedented Access: Behind the Scenes featurette – Coming in at just under half an hour, this behind the scenes pass takes you right into things with Troy Duffy, the producers, as well as the cast. It’s a great piece, that adds some interesting knowledge to certain scenes in the film, and fans will definitely want to check this one out.

Billy Connolly & Troy Duffy: Unedited - This featurette comes in at just under 10 minutes, and is just Duffy and Connolly talking about how he brought the original project to Connolly, and other trips down memory lane. It’s a nice piece, and shows how these two really enjoy one another’s company.

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day has had almost a decade of build-up and hype to live up to. While it doesn’t have the same affect the original did, it fits perfectly in the universe as the rightful continuation to the Saints story, and hopefully, we haven’t heard the last of the MacManus brothers.

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment presents The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. Directed by: Troy Duffy. Starring: Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, Clifton Collins Jr., Julie Bens, Peter Fonda, Billy Connolly. Running time: 117 minutes. Rating: R. Released on DVD: March, 9, 2010. Available at Amazon.com
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Reel Injun uses interviews and archive footage to take a peak behind some of the most prevalent myths and legends that have sprung from America’s cinematic fascination with indigenous people.

The documentary focuses on Diamond as he sets out on a journey from his home in Canada to the hills of Hollywood — with pit stops along the way to pay tribute to some of film’s biggest American Indian legacies — including the son of Iron Eyes Cody (the actor most famous for being the crying Indian in the “Keep America Beautiful” PSA — who ironically was not actually Native American but Italian).

The movie is sometimes enlightening, often funny and always engrossing.

Among the people interviewed for the film are Adam Beach, Clint Eastwood and Sacheen Littlefeather — the Native American activist who found infamy when she memorably declined Marlon Brando’s Academy Award after he won for The Godfather.

Sprinkled among the interviews, Diamond reflects on his own childhood spent growing up on a steady diet of cowboy and Indian movies — with his younger self more often then not associating with the cowboys more then the Indians.

The film libelously uses archive footage from some of Hollywood’s most memorable portrayals of Native Americans (from John Wayne’s films to The Fast Runner) to showcase how much (and sometimes little) the stereotypes surrounding America’s indigenous population has changed.

While parts of the film can drag a bit, there is always some new and interesting factoid to pull audiences back into the proceedings.

Some really interesting observations about a culture’s identity and the role Hollywood has had in shaping it can be found in the documentary. Combined with beautifully shoot footage of Diamond’s journey through Native Americana and some great interviews, Reel Injun is a film completely worth checking out at SXSW.

Category: 24 Beats Per Second
Director: Neil Diamond
Showtimes: Saturday, March 13 at 8 PM at The Hideout and Thursday, March 18 at 1:30 PM at Alamo Lamar

Inside Pulse — Movies will be on the ground at SXSW! For live coverage from the event, follow Robert Saucedo and Travis Leamons on Twitter at @robsaucedo2500 and @skipkassidy.

The South by Southwest film festival will be held in Austin from March 12 through the 20th. For more information about attending the festival and the films being shown, visit www.sxsw.com/film.
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By the time I first saw Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, it was 8:16 a.m. and I had been watching bad movies from sunset to sunrise. It’s no wonder, then, that I’m starting to get a little tired.

After all, it could only be exhaustion to blame that I found a movie called Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus boring, right? It couldn’t possibly be because a movie with such an awesome name could actually be a tedious exercise in mediocrity.

Not Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus!

Whatever the reason, I found myself having to fight to stay awake during the movie, a straight-to-DVD film about, well, a big shark fighting a big octopus.

Written and directed by Jack Perez, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus does the impossible and manages to take a movie that by all rights should be the greatest thing since Sliced Bread: The Motion Picture and make it almost unwatchable.

For one thing, there is a definite lack of actual octopus on shark violence. Most of the movie instead consists of montages of people standing around on submarines looking grave with the monotony occasionally broken up by even more montages of scientists staring sternly at multi-colored test tubes.

When two prehistoric sea monsters are accidentally freed from their icy prison, it’s up to a multi-ethnic trio of scientists to save the world from being eaten to death.

If you’ve seen the trailer, you have seen all of the movie you could possibly need to see — including an admittedly incredible scene in which a giant shark jumps out of the water and bites a flying plane in half or an equally amazing scene in which a giant shark jumps out of the water and bites the Golden Gate Bridge in half.

In fact, the movie’s sole awesomeness resides in scenes in which a giant shark jumps out of the water and bites things in half.

If Jack Perez had just concentrated on making an hour and a half-long movie about giant sharks jumping out of the water and biting things in half, it could have been the greatest movie known to mankind.

Instead, audiences are forced to sit through the prattling on of unlikeable characters devising plans on how to rid the world of its only giant shark and giant octopus.

Speaking of giant octopuses, how lame was the giant octopus?

Why couldn’t Mega Shark be given something cooler to fight like Godzilla or Freddy Kruger or Predator?

I found myself wishing a giant chef would appear to scoop the giant octopus out of the water, deep fry it and serve it as an appetizer at a giant Olive Garden.

If I learned anything from this movie, it’s that watching eleven straight hours of bad movies is a bad idea and that giant octopuses are lame. That and there should be more movies featuring giant sharks jumping out of the water and biting things and half. Also, that Lorenzo Lamas plays a great racist Steven Segal. And that Deborah Gibson and Vic Chao make a wonderful giant sea creature-killing couple.

But seriously, that’s all I learned. I’m ready to go to sleep.

Robert Saucedo can’t wait for Giant Sharktopus vs. Mega-Mansquito. Follow him on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.

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Teenage girls will most definitely love seeing Taylor Lautner without his shirt and there’s plenty of screen time for stars Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Dakota Fanning. Also making her presence known is Bryce Dallas Howard who assumes the role of vampire Victoria. (Victoria was played by Rachelle Lefevre in both Twilight and its sequel New Moon). Superman may be able to leap tall buildings with a single bound, but Victoria can leap over giant chasms! OH MY!

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse will arrive in theaters on June 30.

The Pulse: Taking up prime real estate in having its release be around the fourth of July, Eclipse will no doubt clean up at the box office. But will it have the legs to survive as a summer blockbuster? In the weeks following its release, it’s major competition will be Christopher Nolan’s much-anticipated Inception and Salt starring Angelina Jolie. While I have found the first two installments to be predictably average, Eclipse will surely bring the women out in droves.

Source: Yahoo! Movies
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Frequently these heroes had similar evolutions, a pattern that could also be found in many of the roles they played on the silver screen. There was their initial discovery, which often times had something to do with awesome physical prowess, whether they were a renowned body builder or one of the most revered martial artists in the world. They next had a breakthrough hit, which gained them further notoriety. Their onscreen battles would get larger and larger, until superstardom would come with that one enormous epic. Eventually popularity waned, and the stars would take more chances with their outings, which often times would actually hurt their stardom. Finally, they’re faced with some sort of career change, and then eventually, there is some modicum of a comeback and a second chance at glory.

It’s amazing how this kind of happens over and over again, and 2010 seems to be the year where a lot of stars are banking on making a lot of their returns. While Stallone has already had two successful revivals to the big-screen with recent trips back into his Rambo and Rocky franchises, Dolph Lungdren and a host of other action stars are set to make comebacks or cameos in The Expendables later this year. Even Steven Seagal, who just had his TV Show renewed, is returning to theaters for the first time since Half Past Dead in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete. Lately though, what I’m anxious to see the next step from Jean-Claude Van Damme, who seems to be staying away from these comeback parties somewhat to do his own thing.

Here’s the thing, “The Muscles from Brussels” hasn’t been big in the U.S. for a long time. His last domestic film that had a theatrical release was Universal Soldier: The Return and since then the guy has been almost exclusively doing Direct to Video movies. What I love though, is that while I’ve considered what he’s been doing languishing in the DTV market, it’s possible that Van Damme has kind of been thriving. Yes, a lot the movies are still pretty bad, or worse, examples like Second in Command aren’t just bad, they’re bland. There’s nothing more aggravating than an action movie that’s boring.

On the other hand, as I’ve checked out more and more of these pictures, I’ve realized that Van Damme has kind of been trying to craft a new persona for himself. Unlike Seagal, who has been trying to turn in the same type of performances he always has, Van Damme doesn’t seem anything like “the cocky jerk that we still managed to like” that he always played in movies like Bloodsport and Knock-Off. Quite often in his DTV offerings like In Hell and The Shepherd: Border Patrol he’s a broken man. Some catastrophe has befallen him and he’s just trying to do what he can to survive. It’s actually really interesting to watch the man who used to be known for kicks to the face, gratuitous backside nudity, and ridiculous splits, trying his hand at acting.

What’s even weirder is, I don’t think he’s half bad. Culminating in 2008’s J.C.V.D., Van Damme seems to be trying to right the ship somewhat. He received mostly good notices for his performance in the movie, and since has been trying to keep the momentum up, especially with this year’s Universal Soldier: Regeneration, which yes was a DTV release, but still might be the best action movie I’ve seen all year. Heck, the last I’d heard this month he’s even going to try his hand at an actual kickboxing match. I hope he doesn’t have to fight Tong Po.

So for the next few weeks, I’m going to be looking at Belgian’s biggest action import. From his rise as action icon and lover of spunky reporters to the more serious current incarnation, Van Damme has seemed to see it all, and I think is poised for a big screen comeback. I’m going to start off with the movie that first introduced me to JCVD, which to some degree is still the best example of early Van Damme pictures were all about; showing off his athletic ability, overcoming the odds, fighting a giant man, and yes, going to bed with an inquisitive female reporter. The movie, of course, is Bloodsport.

Bloodsport Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Bolo Yeung. Directed by Newt Arnold

I wonder if the “Based on a True Story” tagline has ever really helped a movie become more of a box office success or if people really tend to pay it no mind, much like I do. As long as a movie brings the goods in the departments it’s supposed to, I could really care less whether it really happened or not. With that said though, in my heart of hearts, I wish deep down that somehow the events in Bloodsport, the tale of real-life underground fighter Frank Dux (as in “Put up your dukes!”), were 100% accurate.

Now, while I know this isn’t the case at all, a guy can dream. Dux’s actual story is one surrounded by a lot of controversy. He states that he started training in the martial arts when he was 13 and that he eventually fought in the Kumite, an underground, illegal fighting tournament where all the greatest martial artists in the world compete to be champion. According to him, he fought hundreds of battles and went undefeated, though many publications have tried to dispute his claims. What is cool, is that Dux was so infamous, that when shooting this movie in Hong Kong, in which he was the fight choreographer, the man actually had to use a fake name for safety reasons.

For the sake of this movie, I hope that a lot of Dux’s claims are true. While the movie suffers from having outdated choreography and plenty of 80’s cheese to go around, Bloodsport remains a really good time, a kick ass martial arts story, and shows us exactly why Van Damme became such a breakout star. Whether fabrication or embellishment of Dux’s actual exploits, what really makes this movie work are the tried and true elements of martial arts films of the past and the charisma of its soon to be major action star.

If there was really one essential role from the early stage of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s career, it would probably be this one. Van Damme seems to straddle the line between his two most prominent screen personas; the arrogant superman who knows a lot about karate and the naïve everyman who knows a lot about karate. His screen charisma is pretty evident here, and he’s really likeable throughout, but he’s not above being the show-off, especially during a ridiculous chase scene through the streets of Hong Kong.

Helping Van Damme immensely is the structure of the movie, which meshes two martial arts tropes together with the combination of the training storyline and the tournament storyline. It’s hard not to like someone when we see how he came from nothing to obtaining so much skill. A flashback montage shows how he comes to be trained by revered Karate master Tanaka, played by the awesome Roy Chiao, who played Lao Che in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. With a short amount of screen time, longtime Hong Kong movie veteran Chiao makes his stamp on the movie, first using Dux as a training buddy for his son, but then eventually turning to Dux to carry on his legacy when his own son is killed in the deadly underground Tournament, The Kumite.

Again, with not a lot of screen time, we’re given a pretty entertaining training sequence for the movie, which I think can go right up there with classic montages from The Karate Kid, Kill Bill, Vol. 2 and The 36th Chamber of Shaolin. It’s certainly a step up from anything in Van Damme’s own Kickboxer and has a degree of authenticity to it that I think is lacking in many American martial arts films. Again, this early part of the movie has you rooting for Dux, especially knowing that his path to this tournament isn’t one of glory, but of honor for his family and a good dose of revenge for his fallen adopted brother.

It’s with character firmly established that we finally get a fun-filled adventure with outrageous characters. It’s unfortunate that even though it’s a pretty popular story formula, too often the tournament movie is pretty awful. Video game entries, which should be an easy fit to this formula, are usually stunningly awful (Mortal Kombat DOA: Dead or Alive), and examples such as Van Damme’s own Lionheart are pretty painful to watch. There are really only a handful of these movies that actually work and even in famous examples such as Enter the Dragon the tournament itself becomes sort of this abstract thing instead building suspense around the event itself.

I know this seems to be nitpicking, but when you’ve seen enough of these movies, you tend to be able to pick out good and bad examples, and Bloodsport is a good one. For an American martial arts film, the fight scenes themselves are adequate and Van Damme gets to show off his stuff in a rousing way. The movie is able to establish fun, scenery chewing villains and heroes throughout, and I like how the movie is able to get a wide range of fighting styles in, which harkens back to classic fight flicks such as Master of the Flying Guillotine.

There’s a certain legitimacy that comes from setting this movie in Hong Kong as well. Unlike Kickboxer, which seems to use Bangkok as a generic Asian setting, Bloodsport is all over the streets of Hong Kong, from the beautiful tourist spots to the dangerous back alleys. Hong Kong is the true home of the martial arts flick, as its film industry kept the genre alive for most of the 20th Century, so putting this film here, and even using many of the genre’s stars and character actors, does a great service for the movie and puts us in the right frame of mind in a way that many western Kung fu flicks set in L.A. or New York could never accomplish.

The last elements needed are a boss battle with the awesome Bolo Yeung and a spunky reporter for Dux to sleep with, and you’ve got yourself a classic Jean-Claude Van Damme action vehicle. Bolo is maybe the most imposing martial arts villain in history with his gigantic frame, and the way the movie establishes him as a killing machine really sets the stage for the movie’s final conflict. The man is terrifying and the movie doesn’t have to do much to make us think he’s invincible, so there’s real drama when Dux matches up with him for the finale.

Again, there’s a very fine line here between camp and general badassery, and with its various flashbacks, over the top villainy, and superhuman heroics this could have very easily fallen toward the former, but director Newt Arnold seems to know his audience, and Bloodsport ends up coming out on top. Sure, there’s cheese to spare and Bloodsport isn’t afraid to throw in moments of preposterousness, but never does this movie hit a note that isn’t fun. The movie made Van Damme a star and gave Bolo Yeung immortality, and for that, it deserves its longevity with action fans.

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Phantom of Liberty II is a free-flowing documentary that explores time and its impact on people — more or less. A Czech Republic/German production,Phantom of Liberty II is kind of like an episode of This American Life if radio host Ira Glass had attention deficient disorder. While not a direct sequel to Serge Silberman’s 1974 film The Phantom of Liberty, both movies share a similar structure.

Director Karel Zalud’s film, shot beautifully on 35mm, meanders from subject to subject looking for stories that illustrate the behaviors and outlooks that are elicited by the passing of time. A mostly unseen narrator keeps the camera moving, quickly leaving subjects even if they are not completely done telling their mostly mundane anecdotes.

With a style evoking Richard Linklater’s Slackers, Phantom of Liberty II visits with a wide selection of mostly unconnected and seemingly randomly found citizens — including a funeral director, a train operator, a group of elderly actors and a businessman.

Keeping with the documentary’s theme, Phantom of Liberty II is edited in a non-linear, almost circular fashion. The documentary subjects’ selection radiates out from the movie’s beginning, eventually forming a full circle much like a clock’s face — ending where the movie began with its first subject.

While I would love to recommend Phantom of Liberty II to everybody, I cannot. While the film, with its intricate scale and epic scope, was interesting to watch — it is very much for a niche audience. Specifically, those interested in experimental film.

It’s a complex movie worth discussion, but in a festival as large and varied as South by Southwest, Phantom of Liberty II is doomed by the very thing the film documents — the limitations of a person’s available time.

Category: SX Global
Director: Karel Zalud
Showtimes: Sunday, March 14 at 4 PM at The Hideout and Tuesday, March 16 at 2 PM at The Hideout

Inside Pulse — Movies will be on the ground at SXSW! For live coverage from the event, follow Robert Saucedo and Travis Leamons on Twitter at @robsaucedo2500 and @skipkassidy.

The South by Southwest film festival will be held in Austin from March 12 through the 20th. For more information about attending the festival and the films being shown, visit www.sxsw.com/film.
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According to the LA Times, the rumors about Christopher Nolan and David Goyer’s involvement in the upcoming Superman reboot are all true. No director is attached yet, but Nolan will be producing and Goyer will be writing the story. They aim to take what made their Batman movies so popular–namely that, like Batman, Superman will be considered the “only superhero” within his movie universe–but other than that no new details on the story have been given other than that Goyer’s story idea is something that Nolan has “never seen before that makes it incredibly exciting.”

Nolan also spoke a little about the third Batman film. Right now they’ve agreed on a general story and his “brother [Jonathan Nolan] is writing a script for me and we’ll wait to see how it turns out…he’s struggling to put it together into the epic story that you want it to be.” Other than that, Nolan is pretty hush-hush on details, other than denying that Mr. Freeze will be the villain and that the story will not be an adaptation of Frank Miller’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. The third Batman movie will be the end of Nolan’s involvement with the character as it will finish the story Nolan wants to tell: “Unlike the comics, these things don’t go on forever in film, and viewing it as a story with an end is useful… And it hearkens back to that priority of trying to find the reality in these fantastic stories. That’s what we do.”

The Pulse: I’ve mentioned before how excited I am about Nolan and Goyer working on revitalizing the Superman franchise, so the confirmation of the rumor just ramped my excitement meter up to eleven. As for Batman, while I would be happy if the current team stayed with the character forever, I can appreciate what they’re doing by having a definite end in sight. I think they’re understanding of the differences between the comic and movie genres is one of the keys to their success, and I’d rather have another excellent Batman film than a slew of mediocre ones.

But, as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you think? Are you disappointed that Nolan and the gang aren’t going to stick with Batman for more than just one more film? Is Superman too different a character for them to work their magic on?

Credit: Newsarama
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Oldboy.

The Blu-ray release is a three-disc set, while the DVD release will be eight discs. Here is a complete listing of the extras:

Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance:

● Audio commentary with director Park Chan-Wook and actor/filmmaker Ryoo Seung-wan
● The Process of Mr. Vengeance
● My Boksu Story
● Crew interviews
● Jonathan Ross on Park Chan-wook
● Soundtrack and photos
● Storyboards
● Original behind-the-scenes feature
● Trailer

Oldboy:

● Audio commentaries:
o Director Park Chan-wook
o Park Chan-wook and cinematographer Chung Chung-hoon
o Park Chan-wook and cast
● Five behind-the-scenes featurettes:
o Making The Film – The Cast Remembers
o Production Design
o The Music Score
o CGI Documentary
o Flashback
● Le Grand Prix at Cannes
● Ten deleted scenes with optional commentary
● “The Autobiography of Oldboy”: 3-hour video diary.

Lady Vengeance:

● Regular and Fade-To-White versions (with Park Chan-wook introduction to the Fade-To-White version)
● Audio commentaries:
o Director Park Chan-wook and actress Lee Young-ae
o Park Chan-wook, cinematographer Chung Chung-hoon and art director Choi Hyeon-seok
o Critic Richard Peña
● Making-of featurette
● EPK:
o Teaser
o Trailer
o Highlights
o Second making-of featurette
● The Style of Lady Vengeance:
o Visualization
o Production Design
o Costume & Makeup
o Art
o CG
● Deleted scenes with commentary
● Park Chan-wook:
o Interview with Park Chan-wook
o Park Chan-wook, “Mr. Vengeance”
o Photography featurette
o Director’s Choice, A short film recommended by Park Chan-wook
● Character interviews
o Lee Geum-ja
o Professor Baek
o Prisoners
o Families
● Lady Vengeance in Venice
● Get Together
● Trailer
● TV spots
● Poster gallery
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Oh. My. God.

Imagine if you will, a cartoon version of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Now imagine that instead of young teenagers falling in love before they meet a tragic end, you have a story about young seals in love. Now image that snuggled amidst the tragedy of Shakespeare’s play, you have the worst puns, prat fall-based comedy and bizarre half-assed musical numbers this side of William Shatner on Prozac.

There’s really no need to imagine, because Phil Nibbelink has created (apparently single-handedly) such a movie.

Sealed with a Kiss translates a surprisingly large amount of Shakespeare’s classic play about two star-crossed lovers into a cheesy, cell-animated movie about seals.

Romeo, a brown seal, has fallen for Juliet, a white seal. Torn apart my their seal races’ hatred for each other and the scheming unwanted romances of a jealous elephant seal (apparently the prince of the ocean), Romeo and Juliet strive to find a way to be together — at all costs.

A literally last-minute happy ending saves this film from being one of the most awkward children’s movies ever made. Imagine having to explain to your toddler why Romeo and Juliet killed each other because they couldn’t be together. Crazy.

Just because the film ends on a happy note doesn’t mean that there still plenty of pretty traumatic moments in the film. There are still plenty of apparent deaths to traumatize your little ones. And if the seemingly tragic end of cute and cuddly seals isn’t enough to set your child off on a crying fit, there are the absolutely horrible music numbers sprinkled throughout the film.

There are slow spoken word doo-ops, bizarre quasi-raps, Shatner-esque Sinatra impressions and a completely inappropriate rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.”

Speaking of inappropriate, the story introduces a character named Kissy the Kissing Fish that serves as the film’s proxy for any annoying children you might be lacking while watching the film. Much like real children do during movies, Kissy the Kissing Fish frequently makes unwanted ear-grating observations about the film’s plot — seemingly to help children understand some of the nuances about Shakespeare’s story. Apparently, the fish is voiced by the writer/director/animator’s daughter so I guess I can understand why she gets so much screentime. It doesn’t make the character any easier to stand, though.

Watching the film, I was struck by two things: a morbid curiosity about whether or not the filmmaker was actually going to end the movie with the two seals killing themselves and the observation that the movie was really about interracial dating.

Instead of just having the main characters’ romance frowned upon by family members, the filmmaker chose to have all the ocean’s residents disgusted by the idea of the two seals, one brown and one white, dating.

Watching the two animals struggle to share their passion for each other while having to deal with the ocean’s prejudice gave me much to think about while I watched the crudely drawn cell animated characters play out over bizarre acid-inspired backgrounds.

Both of my sisters are in relationships with white men and almost every girl I have dated has been Caucasian. Even still, though, I couldn’t relate to Romeo, my brown brother of another species, deal with all the grief that came about due to his dipping in the powdered sugar. I’ve never dealt with any similar prejudice when I’ve dated white girls. Maybe its because I’m not that Hispanic — with my pale, sunlight deprived skin and complete lack of accent. Or maybe it’s just because us humans have progressed beyond the petty racism that still plagues the ocean.

Whatever the case, I can only hope for the best for my new seal friends as they venture out in their journey of color-blind love.

Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with a Kiss still sucked though.

Robert Saucedo can’t watch a movie about seals without thinking of that scene from Faces of Death. Follow him on Twitter @robsaucedo2500.

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Coming June 1st, Blu-ray connoisseurs can expect the high-definition release of War of the Worlds starring Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning and Tim Robbins. The release will be presented in 1080p High Definition with English 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio, French 5.1 Dolby Digital, Spanish 5.1 Dolby Digital and Portuguese 5.1 Dolby Digital along with English, English SDH, French, Spanish and Portuguese subtitles.

All features that were found on the two-disc special edition DVD release will be ported over and, with the exception of the theatrical teaser trailer, will be presented in standard defintion. Supplemental material runs upwards of two hours and includes eight featurettes (“Revisiting the Invasion”; “The H.G. Wells Legacy”; “Steven Spielberg and the Original War of the Worlds”; “Characters: The Family Unit”; “Previsualization”; “Designing the Enemy: Tripods and Aliens”; “Scoring War of the Worlds”; and “We Are Not Alone”), a five-part Production Diary and four Photo Galleries.

Pricing for the Blu-ray is set at $39.99, but should be available in stores for $25 – $28.

SYNOPSIS: War of the Worlds stars Tom Cruise as Ray Ferrier, a father who is desperately trying to protect his teenage son (Justin Chatwin) and 10-year-old daughter (Dakota Fanning) from the relentless alien onslaught that is destroying everything in its path. Fueled by the desire to reunite the children with their mother, Ray battles to shepherd his family from New Jersey to Boston, all the while fending off the mysterious and deadly aliens.
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The film is written by Peter Berg and James Vanderbilt, both of whom also collaborated on The Rundown for Universal. The stars of The Losers include Jeffery Dean Morgan (Watchmen); Zoe Saldana (Avatar, Star Trek

Compare to alternate poster drawn by Losers artist Jock:

The Losers opens nationwide on April 23rd.
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